OT Funny

BENTE

ok i know i proabably should not post this here but it is not dirty and is pretty funny besides we are having boneless skinnles chicken breast tonight so pretty much got dinner covered but i did want to contribute something that a few around here may like

i got this in email for a little while ago


The Joys of Retirement....

WORKING PEOPLE FREQUENTLY ASK RETIRED PEOPLE WHAT THEY DO TO MAKE THEIR DAYS INTERESTING.

I WENT TO WAL-MART THE OTHER DAY. I WAS ONLY IN THERE FOR ABOUT 5 MINUTES. WHEN I CAME OUT THERE WAS A CITY COP WRITING OUT A PARKING TICKET.

I WENT UP TO HIM AND SAID, "COME ON, BUDDY, HOW ABOUT GIVING A SENIOR A BREAK?"

HE IGNORED ME AND CONTINUED WRITING THE TICKET........... I CALLED HIM A PIG.

HE GLARED AT ME AND STARTED WRITING ANOTHER TICKET FOR HAVING WORN TIRES. ...........SO I CALLED HIM A WORSE NAME.

HE FINISHED THE SECOND TICKET AND PUT IT ON THE WINDSHIELD WITH THE FIRST. THEN HE STARTED WRITING A THIRD TICKET.

THIS WENT ON FOR ABOUT 20 MINUTES. THE MORE I ABUSED HIM THE MORE TICKETS HE WROTE.

I DIDN'T CARE............

MY CAR WAS PARKED AROUND THE CORNER............ AND THIS ONE HAD A, "HILLARY IN '08" BUMPER STICKER ON IT.

I TRY TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN EACH DAY NOW THAT I'M RETIRED............ IT'S IMPORTANT AT OUR AGE.

Big'un

It keeps the mind fresh! Good one Terry.

Grandpas Grub

LOL

FlaPoolman

Think this is the same guy :laugh:


After Mr. And Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Target.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ' PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Regards,

Target

Little Steven

Wish I was at that point in life. We could have a members only joke forum with the new format. You can get some really funny stuff like that.

Steve

Little Steven

Wish I was at that point in life. We could have a members only joke forum with the new format. You can get some really funny stuff like that.

Steve

FlaPoolman

I get about 15 a night and at least 5 that are real good. If you like I can send a few to your E mail. If you dont like let me know & I'll stop them. But will never send to anyone unless they ask. There are some really good ones, I've got some warped friends. :unsure:
Pat

Rascal

I love it! 8 - )