Brisket

Buckwoody Egger

Wiggle rod — or just bend last few inches of a long stainless skewer — insert up through bottom vent to agitate coal through the cast iron grate and recover air flow.  Kick ash basket is over rated and unnecessary (ducks to dodge shoe throwing evangelists of said basket)

Ybabpmuts

Them small nuggets impede air flow like a toddlers blueberry poop. I get a kick out of the density argument, btu's, burn time for larger vs smaller lump, lump density, and whatnot, prolly all true under certain conditions .. but none of that **** matters if you're impeding airflow, and the smaller your lump is, (gulp) the tighter it packs together, so the less airflow through and around it.


Someone already mentioned this, but it bears repeating.... You don't need the gizmo of the day for any of this ****.  To this day, for really long cooks, I make sure I start with a clean egg, and I pay attention to how I load the lump, putting some larger pieces on the bottom in either direction, assuring an airway under the lump (already mentioned by somebody as well) then I pile it on over that, all willy nilly, like you read about. I'm also careful about how I light It. I used to light it in a couple places with a napkin soaked in cooking oil ..  but then I bought a weed burner, which I now use to light the egg,  my eyebrows, the top seal, a nearby bush I probably should have trimmed back four years ago anyway, my chuck taylors,  plus ... the sleeves of two outfits (only one of which I feel comfortable talking about in public .. wink wink (hey, DM me teaspoon queen from tinder, my contact info is in the bio, half a wink, then a whole wink, a thong bikini, and an open bedroom door emoji).

Where was I ... Oh yea ... small lump is bad juju..... That was my whole point.

StumpBaby

JohnfromKentucky

Ybabpmuts said:

Them small nuggets impede air flow like a toddlers blueberry poop. I get a kick out of the density argument, btu's, burn time for larger vs smaller lump, lump density, and whatnot, prolly all true under certain conditions .. but none of that **** matters if you're impeding airflow, and the smaller your lump is, (gulp) the tighter it packs together, so the less airflow through and around it.


Someone already mentioned this, but it bears repeating.... You don't need the gizmo of the day for any of this ****.  To this day, for really long cooks, I make sure I start with a clean egg, and I pay attention to how I load the lump, putting some larger pieces on the bottom in either direction, assuring an airway under the lump (already mentioned by somebody as well) then I pile it on over that, all willy nilly, like you read about. I'm also careful about how I light It. I used to light it in a couple places with a napkin soaked in cooking oil ..  but then I bought a weed burner, which I now use to light the egg,  my eyebrows, the top seal, a nearby bush I probably should have trimmed back four years ago anyway, my chuck taylors,  plus ... the sleeves of two outfits (only one of which I feel comfortable talking about in public .. wink wink (hey, DM me teaspoon queen from tinder, my contact info is in the bio, half a wink, then a whole wink, a thong bikini, and an open bedroom door emoji).

Where was I ... Oh yea ... small lump is bad juju..... That was my whole point.

StumpBaby

I was able to understand everything, please look for my message on tinface, or was it instatweet? I forget.

But I lost you at lighting it....so you are saying that method is better?

Ybabpmuts

I got kicked off of tinface because I put really strong magnets in my pants. Some people have .. like zero humor, honesty. 

Here's the deal with lighting the egg. I was using napkins soaked in oil for years. Everything was fine, but then I got a brick patio the size of a small country The weeds grow in between the bricks like you read about, so I got a weed burner that I use on a big propane tank. I kinda got crazy with it, so much so that now when I want to use it, the fuzzy little misses StumpBaby follows around with a garden hose. The lawn caught fire once, just once. To be honest, I always hoped she'd follow my hot bum around with a rubber hose, it just didn't seem so special the way she did it, is all. Not even CLOSE to what I imagined. 

Anyway, I got it in my giant cranium to just fill the egg up, and torch the freakin' majeebers out of the top of the lump. This got the temp up quickly, but in the long run it burned way too much lump. I was having to refill it during long cooks, which sucks a crusty old stuffed monkey ass through a crazy straw, as I'm sure we all know. Heck, there's like seven or eight stuffed monkeys around here with zero asses and trust me, they don't make thicker silly straws. I finally gave in, (ran out of stuffed monkey asses, tbh) and went back to my old way of lighting it. My theory is that lighting the entire top of the lump with the torch made it all burn down quickly. When I use a napkin, I make a small detent in the lump, put the oiled napkin in it, loosely pile lump over the top, the light it. Once it's going well, I lightly mix the very upper part of the lump to move some of the hot coals around. This results in a much smaller fire at the beginning of the burn, and it'll slowly burn across and down at a slower rate.


StumpBaby