I'm Going to be Arrested by both the FBI and IRS!!

Hotch

I have had both the IRS and the FBI call me on my cell phone around 20-30 times each in the past 2 weeks telling me they are on the way to arrest me. So if you don't hear from me for a bit you know why!!

The last time they called I told them that they must be lost, I've been waiting out front and no one has shown up yet.
He replied that they were on the way and would be there shortly.
I said you guys must be pretty stupid if you can get lost coming to my house.
He said "What do you mean?"
I said I only live 2 blocks from the FBI Office!!
Should I just walk over there?
Then I guess it was a bad connection.
Maybe they will call back....

gmac

We will wait for you. 
#freehotch

fishlessman

thats odd, the irs has never had a problem finding me

nolaegghead

That's me for like the last 100 years.

WeberWho

Can I have your Shirley?

Botch

I've been getting more of those calls all the time too, have read that a "Do not call" feature can't be set up for VOIP/smart phones.
So, where can I buy a really loud, shrill police whistle?  

Woodchunk

Your back brace is in the mail

Fred19Flintstone

Who is that?  For the record, I don't know that guy.

northGAcock

Botch said:

I've been getting more of those calls all the time too, have read that a "Do not call" feature can't be set up for VOIP/smart phones.
So, where can I buy a really loud, shrill police whistle?  

Prob an app for that!

blasting

I'm smoking you a pork butt with a file in it.

DaveRichardson

Botch said:

I've been getting more of those calls all the time too, have read that a "Do not call" feature can't be set up for VOIP/smart phones.
So, where can I buy a really loud, shrill police whistle?  

Boating supply stores have small-footprint air horns......  Those are my favorite!

Gulfcoastguy

They just want you to be the prison cook.

GATraveller

I have a dollar or two set aside for bail.

Hotch

OK I'm back now, I was on the front porch again.
And another no show!! 

fishlessman

are you really sure

EggObsessed

Can you just make a deal with them to come and haul you off AFTER our trip to the Epcot Food and Wine Festival next week?!?!?!

Hotch

Hey I ve seen that van!

td66snrf

I like when they call and say the warranty on my car is about to expire. I ask them which car? Stops them dead in their tracks.

northGAcock

If you enjoy the cavity search, you might just be a....oh wait, wrong joke.

texaswig

Haha too funny. 

DoubleEgger

Should have told them you were a Nigerian prince with diplomatic immunity. 

Dobie

JethroVA

two great strategies  for dealing with telemarketers.  1. if you have a toddler, hand them the phone and let them tell the telemarketer about their day. 2.  If no toddler, then say, "Sure, I'll talk to you, but what are you wearing right now?"

JNDATHP

I’m an enrolled agent and got a call from the IRS informing I would be arrested for not paying my taxes. I asked the caller where we should meet. Click. 

EGGjlmh

I once "Won" a free cruise.  I totally explained to them that I cannot travel anywhere because I have a severe case of IBS.  They fell for it and continued to tell me that the cruise line would make special accommodations for me and no need to worry.  It went on and on for several minutes.  I finally got cut off when I told them "You don't understand, I have no control over it and my chit just runs out of my ass uncontrollably" and I accidently laughed.   

Jupiter Jim

My neighbor got the same call last summer and she fell for it! she called the police to see if they were on the way to get her and her bank to see if her account was really frozen. She came over to our house and was in tears. I tried to tell her it was a scam and to forget it but no she had to call the police and the bank.

bucky925

https://youtu.be/7lIRr3DZzxc
Just a loose suggestion on how to deal with it. 

Laserlarry

Tell them this isn't the Clinton residence .