What do I say?

dougcrann

Or do? We are sort of friends with a couple. Nice folks. Dave is dying, slowly. He had some sort of lung problem requiring a transplant.  He got on the list but due to him being 40 pounds overweight he never got the transplant. He did his best to lose the weight but with how bad his lungs were exercise was out of the question.  We don't see these folks all that often. They are alot like us, very private folks. Just found out that Dave now spends his days in a hospital bed in the kitchen as he can no longer make it upstairs to their bedroom.  Susan is staying home with him, she is a professor at a college couple hundred miles from here. She is out of paid leave. They are paying over $600 a month just for the oxygen.  
When I was 15 or so my Dad had 5 strokes, he was 47 or so. He lived another 25 years. But ever since then I don't do real well around the sick. I have an interesting mix of bi-polar/ptsd and being around sickly folks triggers it...and I get VERY weird...
Thanks for letting me get this out of my head...

slovelad

I would just give them your best wishes, and if you feel so inclined, send him something to comfort him. I wouldn't put yourself in a situation where your emotions would take over. 

Just my two cents

Sea2Ski

You did not say how far away they are from you other than she works a few hundred miles away.  If they live any more than a few miles from you, the following might work:

They say actions speak louder than words, but if you can not act for whatever reason then use words. If you like them, call often. Do not think you are bothering them. If they are busy or do not want to talk, they will not answer.   Follow their lead on the calls. Depending how close you are to them, tell her your dilemma about being in the presence of ill people. It would not hurt - everyone has some situation they are uncomfortable around/in.

If close and if you know their schedule you could possibly help out around the house this time of the year.  Leaves are falling. If you know that they are going out to the Dr perhaps you can rake the leaves for them if they don't have a service. Think of things like that, small actions go along way in situations like this and would not require direct interaction.  

Good luck. 

dougcrann

They are about 15 miles or so North of us. Down a dirt road that just leads you out into the woods...