pork shoulder picnic

Unknown · February 2004

Do I really need to cook my 10.42 lb. "Trim Pork Shoulder Picnic"one and 1/2 hours per pound -at 200 degrees? I am at the third hour and I will be up all night!

Unknown · February 2004

Laine the Beginner,
Wow, I'm not sure I want to be the one to break it to you. But, Yes, the roast wil not be done for dinner tonight. Plan on an all nighter. Not to worry though, set the bottom vent opening at about a credit card width (like 1/32") open and use the daisy wheel adjusted so the vents are only 1/2 open and you should stabilize at about 200-225. For my medium, the above seems to hold a stady 210. Now you can set it and forget it - wake up tomorrow morning and slide open the top to full open holes and adjust the bottom to about 1/4" (for me this bumps the temp to 280-300 and finish the roast until the desired temp. You will end up with a nice low N slow cook.[p]Best of luck and please let us know how your picnic turns out.[p]Banker John

The Naked Whiz · February 2004

Banker John ,
You were very gentle and diplomatic with him!
TNW

The Naked Whiz · February 2004

Laine the Beginner,
Pork butts and picnics do take a long time. Usually, I cook them overnight as they take 14-20 hours. The reason is that the meat will hit a plateau internal temperature around 155-170 degrees and it will stay there a very long time. During this time, all the heat that is going into the meat is being used up to convert the collagen in the meat to gelatin. Once this conversion is done, the heat will go back to heating up the meat. You want to keep the meat in this plateau as long as it wants to stay there in order to convert all the tough knarly collagen and connective tissue into moist tender pulled pork. Good luck with your meat and stick with it. Order out for pizza and then tomorrow you can pull the pork and you'll thank yourself for it.[p]TNW

Banker John · February 2004

The Naked Whiz,
Yes, I think I was diplomatic, as you put it. Then again, I was just stating the facts. I'll take it as a completment! Thanks Paul

Unknown · February 2004

Banker John,
Thank you ,night night.
LAINE

Unknown · February 2004

The Naked Whiz,
I do thank you for your details. Pizza it is.
LTB

StumpBaby · February 2004

Laine the Beginner,[p]Nah...if you're that worried bout it.. I'd eat something else for dinner and make that hunk of pork work for you..rather then the other way around. Here's what I do sometimes..and it works real well..and I have one heck of a time doin it..too..till my neighbors get home that is..plus..it helps me keep the yard clean least for the day..and remember..I'm a Stump..really..take that into consideration...I am a Stump..and most folks would prolly find this too mich work for what it accomplishes..but yah gotta factor the fun into it..that's all...[p]What you'll need :[p]1-Long wooden plank..the wider the better
2-A BIG box of aluminum foil..100 yards or so
3-A digital camera (this is more for your enjoyment, you don't really need this to make the thing work..but you gotta have a little fun..best would be a cam corder..but a regular old digital camera will do)
4-A bucket..size will depend on how big the item your gonna put in it will be, your's will vary, my bucket is a full 5 gallons..and I fill almost all of it before I'm done letting that pork work for me..also dependin on when the neighbors some home..you may need more or less..once they went on a vacation and I needed 2 5 gallon buckets)
5-A spike and a hammer...somethin long and strong enough to hold that pork shoulder on, sometimes a nice alimimum gutter spike works fine.
6-At least one adult beverage. It may be tempting to have more than one, especially when things start to really work, but fight the temptation at least until you've got your first item in the bucket. I know from experience, you get to goin on them drinks..and lose your concentration, you're likely to be hit with something god awful. Just in case, wear a hat and some goggles...gloves and shoes is up to you..(whether you bite either your toenails or your fingernails I suppose me..I wear both..remember I'm a Stump)[p]
OK, not that you've got all your things together..here's where to start. First of all..make sure it's gonna be a nice sunny day..you do this on a wet day, and things'll get messy right quick...plus..you'll be using far too many buckets..which sorta takes all the fun outta it.[p]Place a bucket under the rain spout from the gutter over your garage roof...or main house roof..sunroom..barn..whatever. Now, build a giant cone shaped funnel out of all that foil..the wider the better..make it like a darned satelite dish if you want..as long as it collects the suns rays..and sorta centers it. Now..take that sun collector..outside..and drop that pork shoulder down into the center..and gently fold back the foil a bit..so that the top of the shoulder is just peekin outta the top. A this point it should look like a giant silver spacemans behind..a few hours after he's consumed a large hunk of pork..and is currently bee-linin it to the great outhouse in space. Don't let the scare you...it's all part of the plan...I know it looks bad..like its starin at you..but remember you are in control..if it helps..put on some dark glasses and think happy thoughts..remember..resist the temptation to have too many adult beverages till your first collection..I know it's tough.[p]Now..lean that wide board up against the roof, grab that spike and hammer in one hand..and that foiled spacemans butt thing in the other..and climb up to the roof top..right to the very peek..careful not to squeeze that spacemans foil butt thing..that wouldn't be right..least of all where all folks can see..if you want to do that..forget this whole collectin thing..take as many adult beverages as you want..go inside and have a blast..I really don't care..but you may want to leave out the camera, the hammer..and the protective equipment..but that's just me.[p]Now, once you're at the peak, hammer in that spike, and push that spacemans foil butt thing into the top..makin sure to point that thing towards the neighbors house a bit, then climb on down and just wait a few hours.[p]Now..as that thing start to warm..keep an eye on the neighbors house..and soon..that spaceman foil butt thing will start to get really attractive..not to you..(especially if you've followed the rule about the single adult beverage)..more to your neighbors dog..you know..the big black one that keeps you up all night barking..and when you finally run out there.. intent on scarin it away..you slip in what can only be described as a twenty pound fresh lawn steamer..causin you to use up a days worth of cus words in 3 minutes....and stoppin you from chewin your toenails the rest of the night..all of which is only good for the dog..cause you can swear he's back in his yard yuckin it up like you read about.[p]Now..when that dog gets interested..on accounta that pork will be startin to smell ripe..from sorta cookin a bit..stay out of site..and wait till you see that darned steamer makin dog headin for that board..and when your sure he's on the roof..run right out there..and pull that board away right quick. This is when the fun realy starts, that darned dog won't know you took that board away till it's done eatin that spaceman foil butt nugget thing..and then when he turns to come back down, he'll notice that he can't. Now don't you worry, you'll eventually let hom down..but not yet..the collectin is just startin..you might want to get that hat and goggles on, if you haven't already. Stand there and wait a while..and in just a short bit..thet dog will start to pace back and forth..and whine a little bit..then it's time to start realy payin attention..keep a close eye on that dog..it won't be long before that dog..has a real need to let out one of them prized steamers...that's when it's best to pay close attention..case when the firt one enters the airspace..you keep a close eye on it..as it drops..and then..due to the heat of the roof..sorta dries up a bit..and then slowly starts to roll down the roof..and if'n all goes as planned..rolls into the gutter..down the rain spout..and with a dull thud..lands in the bucket you so cleverly had waitin. The first time I seen this really happen..I started doin some real serious whoopin..and dancin..and hootin and hollerin..and all sorts of guffaw belly alughin. [p]If that sound from that bucket is heard..it's time for as many adult beverages as you want..as you sit back in a lawn chair..sip a few cold ones.. watchin and listenin to the drop drop drop..of your new collection system workin wonders for you. If you don't hear that noise..that darned thing landed somwhere, and some real serious troubleshootin will need to happen (mine was found in the back seat of my friends convertible car..that's the day I found out he had them special rain gutters what won't let anything but water in the gutter...you know ..you try to help a friend out when they're outta town..and they fool you with special gutters).[p]Now, remember this..that collectin is like makin microwave popcorn..when them ploppin noise are more then 3 minutes apart..that thing is done, and you can safely put that plank in place..and let that steamer maker back down..no worse for the wear..and hopefully a good 20 pounds lighter.[p]Now, if you reall want to have fun, and don't mind losin a bucket..you can hang that bucket around that dogs neck.and attach it to its coller before sendin it home. That way, the darned dog is almosy self cleanin. After all, you've already probably had more fun that you can handle anyway..and you'vre probably done enough laughin that your sides hurt..so why not just let the little bugger go, with it's prized collection.[p]Ahhh...spring is coming my friend..and I can't wait...[p]Ahh...the life of a Stump[p]StumpBaby[p][p]

mad max beyond eggdome · February 2004

StumpBaby,
you tryin to scare this poor soul right off the forum??. . .he probably doesn't know or understand about circus folk yet. . .or about 6 toed, large cranium types like yourself. . .lordy lordy. he is probably questioning his ability to cook toast at this point after your misive. . .or he's still suck up on the roof trying to follow your gutter instructions. . .[p]laine. . .laine. . .hang in there fella. . .and as we like to say here on the forum. . . you just got 'stumped'. . . kinda like a visit to the proctologist, only stump doesn't wear a glove. . .heeeeeee

Unknown · February 2004

mad max beyond eggdome,
Not to worry max. This fella is a lady that lost interest in stumpy's self absorbing drivel. Talk radio is safe from stumpy -the 5 second delay can be a great censor.

mad max beyond eggdome · February 2004

Laine the Beginner,
whoops. .. sorry for the gender missidentification. .. first, welcome aboard. .. you will love this forum . .second, the stump is one of the great characters on this forum. . .he waxes poetic on many topics, usually includes his circus relatives, but he is a great cook, and through his writings, you will get some good tips. . .like most of us, you will hopefully learn to enjoy his musings, and take them in the spirit intended .. . ;-)

LOG · March 2004

Laine the Beginner,
I did a 6lb. boneless shoulder yesterday, and it took 19 hours. I have done several of these about the same size. Most take about 15 hours. I threw it on at 3:00 am Sunday morning and was expecting it to be ready for supper. I also had pizza for dinner. Took the shoulder off at about 10:00 pm. Looking forward to sandwiches tonight! Lighten up on the Stump he is a good cook, entertaining, and my brother.
We all need a good laugh once in a while.

mad max beyond eggdome · March 2004

LOG,
gee, i thought on sundays you had to do 2 shows at the sideshow. . .you must have gotten off for good behavior. . .heeeeee

LOG · March 2004

mad max beyond eggdome,
Sunday is my only day off. They let me out to cook, but I must be visible to spectators as they gaze in amazement at my giant cranium.

Hammer · March 2004

Laine the Beginner,
First of all, like many others, I welcome you to the green room, and I hope that you'll be a regular poster.
I do however take exception to your obviously intended personal remarks to the Stump. While we in the Green room don't alway's agree, it is seldom personal in nature.
In fact most people like to hear from the Stump, because it lightens the load of the day. He is also a good contributor on the forum, and I am told a good cook.
Welcome!
Hammer

pork shoulder picnic

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