Guacamole

Fishless asked me to post a guacamole recipe. I think I used a recipe the first time I made it...I would guess it was probably this recipe: https://www.rickbayless.com/recipe/view?recipeID=130

Since then, I've learned that "guacamole" and "recipe" really only have a casual relationship. It's really whatever works for you. Browse the other recipes (sides/starters section)...there are several guac recipes there.

When I make it for my wife, it MUST have at least these three ingredients (her preferences). Avocado (or it ain't guac, obviously), cilantro and lime juice. Usually I add a tiny amount of very finely chopped garlic, onion and serrano. Salt to taste.

Aww hell...ok...a guacamole primer (sorry, no photos...maybe I'll update with pics later.)

Avocados:
Generally Hass (or is it Haas? no, I think Hass) avocados make the best guacamole, they're creamy and soft and available pretty much everywhere in the US now. Grown in California and Mexico. Fascinating plants...fruit doesn't ripen until after it's picked, so they can be left on the tree for MONTHS and months until the farmer is ready to send them to market...a truly year-round fruit. Since they're shipped when hard, they transport very well. Wonderfully full of fat, but generally preached to be one of the healthiest fats one can consume.

When they're picked, they're green and hard. If you buy them unripened, leave them out on the counter until they soften. Once ripe, they can be stored in the fridge for several days (Hass, at least). Hass avocados turn very dark brown, even black, when they're ripe. A ripe Hass will give slightly when squeezed, but avoid ones with mushy spots (bruises). If you remove the little piece of stem and peek inside, the hole under the stem will be green in a ripe Hass...it will be yellow in an unripened Hass (beware that picking the stem out will cause a little bit of the flesh under that spot to turn brown in a short amount of time). Fully ripe avocados should be used for mashing. For sliced avocados, slighly firmer avocados are best.

Avocados have a large pit in the center. To cut an avocado, use a large knife to slice through the skin and flesh down to the pit, and then rotate the avocado around, keeping the knife in contact with the pit, slicing the avocado in half (if you first take a good look at the avocado, you'll see that there is really only one plane of symetry that divides the avocado in half lengthwise...cut along this plane). Twist the two halves and the avocado will separate, leaving the pit in one half. Using the part of the knife blade closest to the handle, rap the pit (CAREFULLY!) with the knife, so the blade lodges into the pit. Give the avocado a twist, and the pit will pop out. Pinch the knife blade (from the spine side of the knife) where it meets the pit, and the pit will pop off. Scoop the flesh out of the avocado halves with a large spoon. If you'd like, you can get a head start on slicing by actually slicing the flesh while it's still in the skin (slices, cubes, whatever you wish) and THEN scooping it out. You'll notice that the flesh of the ripe avocado is green only on the very outer part, and yellow inside. When mashed, it will blend to a green color. There may be brown spots. These will blend in as well, and are not harmful, though I usually scoop around any big spots.

Guacamole:
As stated above, there are really no rules for guacamole...aside from the inclusion of avocado. Guacamole can be made with diced avocado; mashed, but chunky avocado; smoothly mashed avocado; pureed with enough other ingredients (such as tomatillos) that it's soupy; etc. My wife prefers hers smooth, with all ingredients minced, so it's not chunky at all. Any ingredients are added simply to the taste preferences of the cook (or in my case, his wife), but I've found that avocado benefits greatly from a little acid (lime juice is my favorite) and salt. Common add-ins include garlic, onion, cilantro, fresh chiles, tomato, but it's entirely up to you.

My wife and I find that two Hass avocados make the right amount of guac for us and our one-year-old daugher, who eats more than her fair share. I'll try to guess about how much of each ingredient I add PER AVOCADO

1/4 tsp very finely minced garlic
1 tsp minced onion
1/2 a serrano chile, seeded and minced. (You can vary heat level by leaving in or removing the white membrane that holds the seeds to the flesh of the chile)
2 tsp chopped cilantro leaves (some people HATE cilantro, my wife would prefer if I added more)
A small squeeze of half a lime...just enough to brighten up the guac. For two avocados, I use the juice of half a lime.
Salt to taste (a small pinch)

Storage:
Guacamole is said to improve with a little rest in the fridge, but avocado will oxidize when exposed to air. The lime juice will inhibit the oxidation, but only to a point. To store guacamole, cover it with plastic wrap, pressing the wrap down on top of the guacamole, to limit exposure to air. The idea that placing the avocado pits in the finished guacamole will prevent browning is a myth. If your guac still browns (as it sometimes will do during the course of a party), it will only be the outer layer...just give it a good stir, and the brown will be blended away.

A fun serving idea is to offer very thinly sliced raw crips veggies (such as cucumber, large diameter radishes, jicama) as an alternative to chips.

Ok, I'm spent. Next time I make a batch (probably tomorrow night, or perhaps Friday) I'll try to remember to take photos.