Divorce Update...

SemolinaPilchard · September 2016

RRP said:

theyolksonyou said:

Wow

I had an older sister who was divorced 3 times, shacked up for years with two others, had 5 daughters that we knew of and learned to lie with the best in and out of courts. Maybe I sound too harsh, but I don't believe he has a clue what he has been sleeping with!

Your advice may be sound, but kicking the guy in the 'nads while he is down is not going to help.

DoubleEgger · September 2016

theyolksonyou said:

@rrp dude is laying out his heart and you repeatedly tell him to "grow a set". Sound harsh, no, you sound like a major douche bag. You want to give advice? Do it in a constructive way that doesn't make you sound like a major dîckhead.

Truth. You're gonna make him cry Jason.

RRP · September 2016

theyolksonyou said:

@rrp dude is laying out his heart and you repeatedly tell him to "grow a set". Sound harsh, no, you sound like a major douche bag. You want to give advice? Do it in a constructive way that doesn't make you sound like a major dîckhead.

Thank you for your opinion as I expressed mine, based on some personal experience as I explained. To you you took the high road all friendly and full of compassion and I took a different one. Oh well.

theyolksonyou · September 2016

RRP said:

theyolksonyou said:

@rrp dude is laying out his heart and you repeatedly tell him to "grow a set". Sound harsh, no, you sound like a major douche bag. You want to give advice? Do it in a constructive way that doesn't make you sound like a major dîckhead.

Thank you for your opinion as I expressed mine, based on some personal experience as I explained. To you you took the high road all friendly and full of compassion and I took a different one. Oh well.

Actually, that was my first comment in either thread as I have no personal experience with an actual divorce. Both my parents and my brother and SIL came close, although that's none of anyone else's business. But I never kicked anyone while they're down. Oh well.

Dyal_SC · September 2016

RRP said:

theyolksonyou said:

@rrp dude is laying out his heart and you repeatedly tell him to "grow a set". Sound harsh, no, you sound like a major douche bag. You want to give advice? Do it in a constructive way that doesn't make you sound like a major dîckhead.

Thank you for your opinion as I expressed mine, based on some personal experience as I explained. To you you took the high road all friendly and full of compassion and I took a different one. Oh well.

Just shut up, man.

RajunCajun · September 2016

Hang in there, buddy. Things will without a doubt get better and the sky will become blue once again. I don't wish em on anyone, but a divorce has a way of changing you as a person for the better.

Biggreenpharmacist · September 2016

Good luck man. Move forward and use this crap as a learning experience and grow from it. Try not to hang onto bitterness and hatred. Get through the **** and find your direction and then find a way to forgive HER and that will in turn let YOU off the hook.

Hans61 · September 2016

Sounds like you're making good decisions. I'd echo the "your own lawyer thing" even if it's just a consult to have him/her go over the paper work with you to make sure it's what you thought you were agreeing too and nothing's lost in the legalize.

all the other stuff, you're making the best of it that you can. Not drinking while under the same roof as the ex = smart. Counseling = smart, it'll help you process and heal much faster than on your own.

Spending all the time you can with your daughter best decision of all, keep it going. It'll pay dividends till your dying day.

BUFFALOMOOSE · September 2016

2 thoughts:

Does your work have an employee assistance program? If it does it usually gives you 3 visits with a lawyer free of charge. Make sure you have all your ducks in a row before you go
there.

Second and most important is that you put in the divorce decree that neither spouse can have a live in partner. This is critical because she can have a sugar daddy who will sweet talk your daughter, both mother and dbag will brainwash your daughter and you will see less and less of her.

Good luck. My heart hurts for you.

Dave in Florida · September 2016

Florida Grillin Girl said:

It would be for the very best to both agree that neither parent will move away with the child. Pick a location and an amount of miles (say 25 or 50 or so) from that and have it put in your agreement that you won't move outside of this distance so that you can continue to co-parent your child together. I have seen what happens when one parent gets another job out of state without this included in their divorce agreement. Good Luck to you, sir.

After I caught her cheating. This is exactly what happened to me. I didn't think she would ever leave her hometown but she knew the only way to continue to hurt me was to try and destroy my relationship between me and my son. So she moved several states over and I didn't have to means to fight it. Would not even send me school pictures. Get EVERYTHING in the agreement.

ThrillSeeker · September 2016

Did you get to keep your egg?

billt01 · September 2016

Brother...let me tell you something she will figure out soon enough...the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence....that newness she is experiencing WILL wear off....and when it does, she will become board...and when she becomes board, she will start looking again....

Keep you head in the game..continue to press on, and post some good food pics from the egg to keep your head clear from nonsense.

Life will throw curve balls, its our job to knock the $#!+ out of 'em...

northGAcock · September 2016

theyolksonyou said:

RRP said:

Still wondering about the older daughter she brought into this world when you were a mere 14 year old child yourself. Does that daughter's natural father have any say so in in where that daughter may or may not be moving to to follow her "round heeled momma"? I agreed with the others from the get go who said lawyer up! Thinking your wife can be trusted is simply naive and you are setting yourself up for yet another screwing! Grow a set of 'nads while getting your head out of your butt! Playing nice when you are playing with a known cheater is not wise!

Wow

Have to say I had the same reaction Jason.

Griffin · September 2016

Thanks for giving us an update. Sounds like you are off to a good start. Things will start to get better for you soon. Try not to dwell on it and focus on your work and your kid. And Egging.

BrevardAUEgger · September 2016

Just getting back to reading this...Haha wow, sounds like there was a good bit of feedback while I was gone. I'm not mad or going to cry with what @rrp said.

Do I need to grow a set of nads? No. My nads are perfectly fine & large enough for me to make sound decisions in this, as I feel like I am and have been. I have spoken with a lawyer and feel strong that everything is headed the right way. Some people handle situations differently. For me, "growing a set of nads" & fighting this tooth and nail and spending thousands of dollars just isn't the best option. The best option is to move on as quickly as possible. The only way I could get more than 50% custody even with her doing this to me is if while she was with this guy she was supposed to be caring for our daughter. That's not the case and no matter how much I hate her mom for what she did, I want her mom to be in her life.

I understand some have the totally opposite view of this to "grow a set" & fight, and I respect that. But to me, I'm not going to be any better off if I do that. It will simply prolong everything and take longer for me to move on with my life.

For the record...Yes I am getting the egg, table, & all the accessories. Working on a rental house now to be able to use it. Of course an apartment wouldn't allow that

GATraveller · September 2016

I've found that no matter how clear things look to others from the outside looking in...no one knows what's really happening inside of a marriage/relationship other than those involved. Everyone can and will have their opinion but at the end of the day they're just educated guesses. You do what's best for you based on the hand you're dealt and it'll work out just fine. Live and learn.

Focker · September 2016

From all angles, good on you for taking the high road.
We had one lawyer too. Despite the naysayers, it can be done amicably.
Best wishes man as you move through this sh!tstorm.

BrevardAUEgger · September 2016

Thanks! The sh*tstorm is getting better each day

Legume · September 2016

What I learned from last nights wisdom on this thread could almost be a country song title.

You can divorce a cheatin' wife, but not a round-heeled, lyin' older sister.

No idea what round heeled means though.

Best of luck to you @BrevardAUEgger, sounds like you've got your wits about you.

johnkitchens · September 2016

Legume said:

No idea what round heeled means though.

You made me curious so I looked it up. “Round-heeled” is an old-fashioned label for a woman who is promiscuous—someone who nowadays might be called “easy.”

Now we know.

johnkitchens · September 2016

The Buffalo sunk this thread. I guess he doesn't like divorce talk.

BrevardAUEgger · September 2016

Thanks @Legume! Who is the buffalo? Guessing the guy who runs this forum?

No worries...I realize this is a grilling/smoking forum & a lot of people could care less. I appreciate all the support, hope everyone has a great weekend

BrevardAUEgger · September 2016

@johnkitchens, your GA boys going to pull it off this weekend?

lousubcap · September 2016

Maybe the Buffalo is an attorney on the side and just let's enough go to feed his profession... same demise as the opening saga.

johnkitchens · September 2016

BrevardAUEgger said:

@johnkitchens, your GA boys going to pull it off this weekend?

I am sure hoping we do. It could go either way.

Toxarch · September 2016

Sorry that you are having to go through that. Is renting your own house to yourself an option? What better tenant than yourself? You set a rent price with your ex, and then you suggest yourself as the tenant. Your daughter stays in her school, you essentially only pay half the rent, you don't really need renter's insurance since it's your house (right?), your rent money goes to your own equity.

Divorce Update...

Comments

Categories