STIKE wanna come out and play?

Richard Fl

Found this in my files and wondering if there is an update or ????

"Are you a Total Yutz?" test!, Stike

1 score 20 points per 'Yes', 0 points for 'No'
2 Did you shut the dome after lighting and forget to take the ceramic cap off, smothering the fire so that 20 minutes later instead of a nuking egg, you had cold lump? If 'yes', that's pretty lame. score 20 points.
3 After bending way down to look at the vent on your egg, did you hit your head on the handle coming back up? If 'yes', good grief. slow down. Score 20 points
4 After relighting, did you came back and arrange the coals by hand and accidentally pick up one that was ashed over and looking 'cold' but fully on fire? If 'yes', you are pretty lax. Dip your finger in your wife's wine while she is bizzy filling her iPod. Score 20 points
5 Did you step on a slug in your bare feet while tending to the egg and feel it gush through your toes?
6 If 'yes', well, forgiveable, but still quite 'yutz-isch''. Score 20 points
7 Did you do all this while sober, and therefore with no excuse but your own blazing stoopiditityness? If 'yes', score 20 final points.
8 Scoring:
9 0-20 pts; No fool, you. You are a credit to eggdom.
10 20-40 pts; Can't fault a slip up or two, you probably answered no to the last question. And drunkeness is as good a reason as any.
11 40-80 pts; You may as well skip to the next section, you probably screwed up your scoring math, too.
12 100 points; You are basically useless, and afraid that others will discover this. You go to great lengths to write witty quizzes on internet forums to try to gloss over just how dumb you are.
13 For what it's worth, I got 100!
11/16/06 ClayQ:stike,
1 I did ONE thing that would score 100; take out of the egg a drip pan with hot juices and proceeded to dump it on my sandled foot. Blistered the skin in 4 places. It could have been worse if I had not quickly poured my cold beer on the burn..... -25 points for fast thinking.
11/16/06: Eggaholic--ClayQ,
1 Loose 50 points for wasting beer.
11/16/06: gdenby-- stike,
1 I'll have to give myself two 10s. That's a total of 20.
2 for closing the dome, removing the ceramic lid and putting on the daisy full open, but forgetting to open the bottom vent. Its amazing how little fire will develop in 20 minutes with that set-up.
3 for seeing the slug just before stepping on it, jerking back, and dropping the brat I was turning.
11/16/06: Sundowner--stike,
1 Okay. Here's how we cure your Yutziness. First travel on you three wheeled bike to the spirits store. While there purchase as much beer as you can get in the little white basket on the front of the bike. Pedal home carefully. Find a chair on the patio or deck and position it carefully so when you have to "make a run" there are as few turns as possible. Now, ice all of the beer you've brought home and place the cooler at your feet. Drink all of the beer and ask your wife to go get more. DO NOT TRY TO COOK ANYTHING ON THE EGG WHILE THIS CURE IS TAKING PLACE!
2 I'm not sure what all of this will accomplish but, you will have had some fun and you can tell your wife your doctor said it was okay.
3 I scored 0 only because you didn't have anything on the test about stepping on a live coal that had popped out of the bottom vent . . . twice.
11/16/06: Sandbagger--stike,
1 do I need a number two pencil for this quiz and do I fill the circle in completely on my choice or is an "X" good enough. Thank god no blue book is needed......Sandbagger,
2 scroll so the whole thing is visible on screen, then circle your answers with a sharpie. stike
3 stike, perfect I just got the new sharpie with the ink eraser on top.....Sandbagger
11/16/06: Richard-- stike,
1 For the last few years, have been telling a friend and his wife about the BGE. Memorial day he bought her one and they proceeded to tell me during the summer how great it was etc. Just last month I was at their house to see the "best cooker in the world". They had managed to assemble the large with the bottom draft door IN THE BACK. No problem she informs me, we just reach behind to adjust, she is a blonde. I proceeded to tell her that we needed to loosen the bands and turn the BOTTOM around. Then decided the top weighed less. Now how many points is that worth and I probably deserve many for turning the bottom option.
11/16/06: Rusty Rooster--Richard,
1 I think this one wins, no idea how to calculate the points on it though. That was great!!


Recipe Type
Humor

Recipe Source
Source: BGE Forum, Stike, 2006/11/16

Darnoc

That is a classic.I have never seen that before and have printed it out and it is attached to the fridge with magnets.That is to much.

stike

i am not kidding... sadly, that was my frigging evening, maybe two years ago.

blast from the past.

that was back when 'stike' was cool and witty and all the chicks dug him. now stike is a sour, bitter curmudgeonly pr!ck who accuses people like darnoc and newbies of picking fights with him.

sad sad sad.

funny thing is my life is even more fun than it was back then. so why am i so grumpy on the forum lately?

my namebadge at the NE fest is gonna read "Vernon Nussbaum", because dr. bbq, bobby-Q, celtic wolf, darnoc, grampas grub, and a few others are gonna be standing in line to kick my ass if i ever run into them...

Darnoc

I have done turned my cheek the other way.I always have a smile going on and some times that has got me into trouble.Like what the heck are you smiling at dude.Better that than something else.Beers.

Unknown

Don't worry stikey, I'll be right there watchin' your back.

Ain't none of them gonna mess with us Yankee Boys and survive.

stike

i always thought i was a fun-lovin dude. then one day i realised i was an assh*le.

Christmas. maybe 1992. i had on the world's goofiest tie. it was a neck tie with a print of Dr. Seuss-looking Christmas ornaments. tacky as all hell. but ironic, and therefore not so much tacky as 'referential' and ironically 'hip'. it was probably christmas eve, and back before i had enough 'taste' (who am i to judge?) to not wear novelty ties.

...anyway, i'm rushing through the mall buying my christmas crap because i waited forever and it's the last night and i have to be somewhere in a half hour, but i better buy stuff or they're all gonna be disappointed with me and p!ssed (etc.) and now man i am really not enjoying this, when i see some store-manager-type dude with a namebadge eyeballing me as i turn the corner all grumpy and busy and get-tha-eff-outta-my-way-i-have-shih-tah-doo and i'm thinking "ok, now w/t/f does THIS guy want? what? WHAT? WHAT!!!" ggrrrrrrr

and he says "hey man, cool tie, hope you have a merry chirstmas!..."

and suddenly i realize: stike, dude. yer an assh*le.

now, the saving grace here is that at least now i KNOW i'm an assh*le and deep down i try to fix it on a daily level. but there are a buncha folks in this world who don't even KNOW that they are assh*les. at least i KNOW i am.

admitting it is half the problem!
hahaha

so. have you (not you=darnoc but rather you='the global you') ever been an adze-hole? i bet you (again, not darnoc per se, but each and every one of us, the global 'you') have.
best thing i have learned in the past five years is how to not be embarrassed to say "sorry, man. i made a mistake". i really would rather hide behind bravado. but admitting i'm a tool is kinda fun, actually.

Little Steven

Stike,

You can call yourself whatever you want but I have always read your posts if I don't have time to do the whole forum. You may be an a-hole but you are a damned intelligent one.

Steve

dhuffjr

Where does that put Ray? He is from Illinois.