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StumpBaby · May 2004

Got back a little while ago..jeeze...I swear somebody done stretched out a coupla them states when I was down there..it sure seemed like I'd never get out of New Jersey of Connecticut. [p]Anyway..here's my take on this years eggfest.[p]1)Greatest giveaway. A tie really.[p]1A) Naked Whiz thongs..2 of them...and I'm the proud owner of one..thanks to Woodoggies who won both..but saw the definite need to give the Stump one of them. That's a real friend..goes out and gets two thongs and comes back and gives you one. Thanks John...I was sure the Mrs Stump would help me out with it, until she walked by the computer and saw me starin at that picture grillmeister posted. I think that thing is mine alone now..but it's all good..it's all good.[p]1b)I gave MollyShark (rather unceremoniously I might add.. considering the value of such a thing) my inflatable sheep. It wasn't long though..before we realized it had an airleak. Speculation about this airleak ranged from an ember from Wes's small egg (I had her too close to the egg when I lit it..and some sparks did come out..it's funny..you are faced with burning to a crisp 2 pounds of swordfish..yet..the first thing you grab and run away with is the inflatable sheep..and momma always said the way to a mans heart is though his stomach..I'm thinking only if there's an inflatable sheep directly on the other side)...oh yeah..somebody was convinced that thing could have been popped by a needle..or something as small as a needle..but there was just no way I was going to admit that..I mean I DID take a sewing class in middle school once..I had to..cause it was a requirement...boy did my brothers tease me..for months I was called Pauly Fabrics..and other such names I dare not print...so you can see my reluctance to produce anything resembling a needle..or to even admit I may be secretely harboring anything what can be used for sewing. [p]2)Greatest toy. Mad Max...bless his little flank steak grillin self..brought a remote control fart machine. Thanks Max..I was wondering why folks weren't coming to eat my food..till I heard a sound..and was quite sure I was the only one around..and also quite sure...thanks to some nerve endings..(or some other medical gobblygook...my wife is taking some classes on medical stuff..but despite my persistence, has not asked her professor..or anyone else for that matter..just how this part of the body is smart enough to know what to do and when)..that I hadn't let anything escape. After a while folks figured it out..but not before I got a certain amount of interesting looks. The best was when that team of people came over and were using my egg..and every now and then that thing would sound off..and I'd just start laughing..at one time I leaned over and asked them what they were doing over there. CharBuddy...oh excuse me..Mr.Earl.. sure took a long time to ask me about that sound he kept hearing too..but then again he was busy jerking his sausage..and I suppose if one is doing that..maybe that type of background noise could be expected..or in the grand scheme of things..can at least be ignored until the sausage is done. I never did get to try his sausage either..I was just too bloated by the time he was done with it.[p]3) Capn Billy's..right in the middle of dinner..one of Sallies teeth was viciously attacked by a rogue olive pit from hell..and broke...that was a major bummer for a minute or two...but after another drink or two..we were all back in a good mood. Rumor has it that there was some kinda lightening show outside..but I don't remember that...prolly had my head in the corner of a crab shell. Chuck and Cathy were convinced crabs didn't have corners, but I think I straightened them out a bit. They tried serving us salads..I don't know what they were thinking..but salads..I never saw a group of folks with such a lost look in their eyes..till we all agreed together..that it was a necessary evil..we just had to eat some of that salad..to get to the crabs and such..truth be tol..when nobody was lookin..I bent over and tucked half of my greens in my shoe..which was a pretty good plan..left me with plenty of room for crabs and if I got desperate..a late night salad would be readily available. Another thing to note..is they didn't server us any corn fritters..I have no idea why..but I missed them..there's nothing like using a corn fritter as a ramrod to pack your gullet with as much crab meat as you can..tried using a rolled up napkin once....but you gag on one of them things..and folks just don't know how to help out..but they see a corn fritter stickin halfway out..seems strange..but they'll all just jump right in a help...it's the power of the fritter I suppose..and shouldn't be questioned..or denied....that place is just lookin for a lawsuit.[p]4) The Egged..food..jeeze..what to say.. there were so many good things to graze on..I was bloated like a tick by noon and still accepting donations. I mean you see something like max's flank steak..or chris's salmon..or a chicken leg..or goat cheese and peppercorn stuffed pork chops from capn..or chucks stromboli (A real food item..go figure..I mean..when he first asked me if I wanted his stomboli I almost asked him if it came with a side of genitalia..looking back..that might have been a good thing..cause he might not have given me a piece..and after tasting that thing..this would have been a crying shame)..or Johns grilled tamale...ahh..I could go on and on..but the fact is..when you see somthing like that coming at you..the fact that you could hardly breath a minute or two before doesn't even bother you..I guess it's a little like sex is all..and just can't be denied..at least from what i've read.[p]5) Cool tool award goes to John's Morter and Pestle..just because it looked like the inside of one of mommas molars..all black and pitted. I wouldn't want to have to clean that thing though..Johns Mortar and Pestle of course..we gave up on mommas molars long ago..I mean if she couldn't agree to stop goin asleep with a mound of home made rock candy to suck on..we ain't gonna be helpin her clean all her nasty molars..period..it's comman sense is all..way I see it the work load would just get biggah over time. Anyway..that thing looked pretty cool..sitting there full of mashed up tomatillos.[p]Well..I can prolly go on and on...but I'm just tired of typin. I will say this..I spent quite a bit of time sitting with Dr BBQ..we were cooking on eggs next to each other..till mine was borrowed that is..and it was a pretty good time..I'll tell you that. The interesting thing is that a lot of people came up and wanted a picture of the two of us together...go figure.
[p]StumpBaby[p]

Cornfed · May 2004

<p />StumpBaby,[p]It was great chatting with you again this year. Here's you, the good doctor, and the symbolic stump. Not pictured is the inflatable sheep. I think he or she was otherwise occupied...[p]Later,
Cornfed

mad max beyond eggdome · May 2004

StumpBaby,
ahhh, just when you thought you were the most sophmoric one around, along comes me and sydney. .. what a hoot watching everyone from across the parking lot, looking around with strang looks as those sounds kept eminating from your vicinity. .. all we were missing was alan funt going "gotcha, you're on candid camera!!". . .syd and i are still laughing ourselves silly over that. . .[p]but what a genuinely great day we had spending time with you and everyone else. . .not sure i can wait a whole year to do it again. . .

Unknown · May 2004

StumpBaby, you are just plain funny as hell! Look forward to meeting you some day.[p]Hugh Jass

WooDoggies · May 2004

<p />StumpBaby,[p]Wow, I'm honored....... I think.
Sharing the wealth is a good thing and I was thong wealthy...... glad you made use of it but sorry about the missus. [p]The Mexican mortar and pestle is a molcajete... carved from volcanic stone. It crushes and bruises to better release flavors instead of mooshing foods into oblivion. I can set you up if you'd like one.[p]Funny how no one asked you to sit in the back of the bus..... you just knew your place. heeee!
L-R: Nature Boy, Stumpy, Cap'n on the way to the CrabGourge.

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