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I Miss My Egg

Brothers and Sisters of The Royal Order of the Magnificent Green Egg, I come to you today with a heavy heart.

You see, there is a fire ban in Colorado. The ban, the torture, the pain began last week and there is no end in sight. Just as a message in a bottle goes unnoticed, I feel as if I’m lost at sea. It’s like the cold kiss of steel against flesh.

Cooking on a gas grill is allowed but it’s not the same. I have come to miss the anger of seeing the underbite of my Large Egg. There is no use for the KAB, Smokeware cap, or the Rutland squares. Why did I bother hoarding 14 bags of Rockwood? Will they ever be used?

Brothers and Sisters, I must leave you now, for my heart is breaking.

On a serious note, Boss Lady and I cook on our Egg 2 - 3 times per week in any weather that Colorado throws at us. We are shocked at how not being allowed to use our Egg has seriously changed our lifestyle!   :s

Large Egg, PGS A40 gasser.

Comments

  • Foghorn
    Foghorn Posts: 9,795
    I, for one, feel for you.

    If it would make you feel better, I can give you my address and you can send me all of your Rockwood - you know, to ease the pain of having to see it all the time...

    You're welcome.

    XXL BGE, Karebecue, Klose BYC, Chargiller Akorn Kamado, Weber Smokey Mountain, Grand Turbo gasser, Weber Smoky Joe, and the wheelbarrow that my grandfather used to cook steaks from his cattle

    San Antonio, TX

  • six_egg
    six_egg Posts: 1,110
    edited September 2020
    I have to ask what about cigarettes or pot? Can people still light up? What about the smoker with windows down and throwing lit butts out?

    XLBGE, LBGE 

    Fernandina Beach, FL

  • Legume
    Legume Posts: 14,602
    Charcoal bbqs in individual residences are allowed by the state.  Unless your county or city have a tighter ban, egg on.
  • 1voyager
    1voyager Posts: 1,157
    @six_egg - Judging by the long lines outside of pot stores, I think smoking has increased. Maybe it just looks like it because of social distancing. 
    Large Egg, PGS A40 gasser.
  • I'd argue the Egg is a whole lot safer than gas grills even! no hot ashes or embers fly out of mine. I'd keep quiet and light the thing personally...
  • How much you asking for the rw?
    South of Columbus, Ohio.


  • Foghorn said:
    I, for one, feel for you.

    If it would make you feel better, I can give you my address and you can send me all of your Rockwood - you know, to ease the pain of having to see it all the time...

    You're welcome.
    The Egg too. Know where I am not moving.
  • Ruthless I know. We can't help it

    South of Columbus, Ohio.


  • Legume said:
    Charcoal bbqs in individual residences are allowed by the state.  Unless your county or city have a tighter ban, egg on.
    You live near Boulder, right Tom?  I wonder where @1voyager lives in Colorado that there could be tighter restrictions.
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike
  • 1voyager
    1voyager Posts: 1,157
    @JohnInCarolina - I live in Colorado Springs. El Paso county decided to do a tougher ban than Colorado, then changed their mind. Our homeowner's association, in all its infinite wisdom, decided to keep the ban in place. 

    I'm going to take @kmac1036's suggestion and light it up anyway. 
    Large Egg, PGS A40 gasser.
  • frazzdaddy
    frazzdaddy Posts: 2,617
    1voyager said:
    @JohnInCarolina - I live in Colorado Springs. El Paso county decided to do a tougher ban than Colorado, then changed their mind. Our homeowner's association, in all its infinite wisdom, decided to keep the ban in place. 

    I'm going to take @kmac1036's suggestion and light it up anyway. 
    Agree, I'm on our HOA board. They can't enforce that. 
    Xl bge ,LG bge, two 4' crusher cone fire pits. Weber Genisis gasser and 
    Two rusty Weber kettles. 

    Two Rivers Farm
    Moncure N.C.
  • Legume
    Legume Posts: 14,602
    I just can’t take HOAs.
  • frazzdaddy
    frazzdaddy Posts: 2,617
    Legume said:
    I just can’t take HOAs.
    I HATE them. I'm on the board to make sure they stay in their lane.  
    Xl bge ,LG bge, two 4' crusher cone fire pits. Weber Genisis gasser and 
    Two rusty Weber kettles. 

    Two Rivers Farm
    Moncure N.C.
  • what the hells a hoa? just kidding good luck with all that.
    South of Columbus, Ohio.


  • Legume
    Legume Posts: 14,602
    what the hells a hoa? just kidding good luck with all that.
    In four moves, four different houses, I’ve only been in an HOA once and just left it last year. In comparison to many, that one wasn’t bad but it only takes one or two people to make it really unpleasant. 
  • I feel for you.  Boulder County "level 2" fire restrictions have prohibited charcoal grill use since July 10.  Withdrawal from egging is better than a $1,000 fine (more for repeat offenders).

    On the question above, smoking is prohibited, except in an enclosed vehicle or building, a developed recreation site, or while stopped in an area at least three feet in diameter that is barren or cleared of all flammable materials.
    LBGE - St. Louis, MO; MM & LBGE - around 8100' somewhere in the CO Front Range
  • RRP
    RRP Posts: 25,880
    edited September 2020
    Here's an idea for the inventors..how about designing a small scale smoke scrubber that the EPA has imposed on coal fired power plants? Make it look like a terra-cotta pot on a stand so an artificial FIRE PROOF shrub could further hide your egg!

    PS - you're welcome - my royalty would only be a meager .5% of gross sales.
    Re-gasketing America one yard at a time.
  • MO_Eggin said:
    I feel for you.  Boulder County "level 2" fire restrictions have prohibited charcoal grill use since July 10.  Withdrawal from egging is better than a $1,000 fine (more for repeat offenders).

    On the question above, smoking is prohibited, except in an enclosed vehicle or building, a developed recreation site, or while stopped in an area at least three feet in diameter that is barren or cleared of all flammable materials.
    So my ten foot by ten foot concrete slab would work?
  • Legume
    Legume Posts: 14,602
    Those boulder county restrictions are for the hills west of town.  The bulk of town and east county (flat, farmland) can have bbqs.  
  • Kayak
    Kayak Posts: 700
    RRP said:
    Here's an idea for the inventors..how about designing a small scale smoke scrubber that the EPA has imposed on coal fired power plants? Make it look like a terra-cotta pot on a stand so an artificial FIRE PROOF shrub could further hide your egg!

    PS - you're welcome - my royalty would only be a meager .5% of gross sales.
    I could provide inspection, testing and certification for that! Much better climb than the usual industrial size things. There will be reporting, documentation, and possible regulatory review forthcoming.

    Bob

    New Cumberland, PA
    XL with the usual accessories

  • SciAggie
    SciAggie Posts: 6,481
    Foghorn said:
    I, for one, feel for you.

    If it would make you feel better, I can give you my address and you can send me all of your Rockwood - you know, to ease the pain of having to see it all the time...

    You're welcome.
    I, for one, like Roman numerals as well.

    I'll also glady share custody of any Rockwood.
    Coleman, Texas
    Large BGE & Mini Max for the wok. A few old camp Dutch ovens and a wood fired oven. LSG 24” cabinet offset smoker. There are a few paella pans and a Patagonia cross in the barn. A curing chamber for bacterial transformation of meats...
    "Bourbon slushies. Sure you can cook on the BGE without them, but why would you?"
                                                                                                                          YukonRon
  • Tell me about it.  This has been dragging on since July 9th.

    With my eggs,  all this Coronavirus stuff was bearable.  Now,  I am on the verge of loosing my mind.

    This is the longest I have gone without egging for the past 21 years.

    The only smoke in the air now is all the pot smoke from the neighbors.  Barf!!!!
  • I am now so crazy,  I can’t even spell.
  • Legume
    Legume Posts: 14,602
    I think that’s how you spell barf.
  • It is.  But that is not how you spell losing.
  • The weather forecast for 4.3 inches of snow on Tuesday may finally put an end to all this nonsense.
  • 1voyager
    1voyager Posts: 1,157
    edited September 2020
    @ArvadaMan - Nonsense indeed. Weather forecast of mid-90 degrees today and mid-30s with 2 - 6 inches of snow on Tuesday.
    Large Egg, PGS A40 gasser.
  • Dude. I just got off FaceTime with my old neighbor in Colorado Springs. He had a fire going and 2 pork butts on his Traeger. 

    I lived there during the Waldo Canyon fire and the AFA Fire. We still grilled in CO Springs. My wife was catering out of our house...Kept a fire extinguisher and food for all the firefighters who showed up to “safety complaints”

    He said y’all are about to get nailed with snow. I say Egg On!

    "Brought to you by bourbon, bacon, and a series of questionable life decisions."

    South of Nashville, TN