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BGE (user) Fails???

Well, I've been a very proud BGE owner for over 15 years and have won praises from friends and family all along. Now I know this may not be a popular topic but... I was just going through the forum for new ideas on doing a turkey and it just kinda struck me that there is such a wealth of information on successful experiences that it would appear the BGE is magical, virtually eliminating any possibility of an unsuccessful meal. I for one can attest to the fact that  cooking on the BGE does still leave room for user error. Through no fault of the egg itself (it truly is magical) mistakes I've made vary resulting in some less than spectacular meals. I've made some mistakes for sure- using low quality charcoal resulting in inconsistent temp control (BGE charcoal is very much worth a little extra$) , putting food on too soon- before charcoal has greyed over resulting in black acrid smoke taste, using too much charcoal resulting in difficult temp control, cooking very fatty cuts w out drip pan- acrid smoke, shortcutting quality or cuts of meat ie. small grocery store brisket pointe instead of whole brisket (i'd recommend at least 14 lbs) -my first attempt resulted in shoe leather! Unfortunately my list does go on but you get the point. Anyone else care to share some of their less than spectacular "Fails" or tips on what not to do on the egg? 
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Comments

  • KYJeffKYJeff Posts: 31
    slow cooking, then searing a huge slab of pork belly. The fat caught fire when I seared it.  I closed the lid and flames shot out the bottom vent like a flame thrower and burnt my leg.   I incinerated my new pit probe gauge. it was the first night I used my bbq monitor.  I have learned you do not get crispy fat by searing and to wear pants while cooking.   
  • calikingcaliking Posts: 17,358
    There is often a fine line between the cook being sufficiently marinated and hammered... About 2 Pina coladas in @henapple ’s case. The former often leads to spectacular results. The latter state does too . Sometimes. 

    But I disagree that BGE lump is worth the extra $

    #1 LBGE December 2012 • #2 SBGE February  2013 • #3 Mini May 2013
    A happy BGE family in Houston, TX.
  • johnnypjohnnyp Posts: 3,932
    From my observations (and experience), the first step in the BGE cook fail process is getting completely hammered. 
    In my humble opinion....I am an expert at the first step
    XL & MM BGE, 36" Blackstone - Newport News, VA
  • Tying your dog's leash to the base has got to be near the top of the heap.
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike


  • Tying your dog's leash to the base has got to be near the top of the heap.
    Leads to DEVASTATION!!
    Charlotte, NC - Large BGE 2014, Maverick ET 733, Thermopen, Nest, Platesetter, Woo2 and Extender w/Grid, Kick Ash Basket, Pizza Stone, SS Smokeware Cap, Blackstone 36"
  •  "Aww Honey, what did you do to your legs?" sets down pina colada and holds up hands-  "I wanted crispy fat"  
    Wow -I'm sorry you got burned.       ....but the visual cracks me up!

  • Oh yeah, and the scent of singed arm hair. I've never had flames shoot out the bottom like that but definitely rolled out sides from opening lid too fast when real hot. Hot smoldering gasses + sudden rush of air= whoosh, your own mini backdraft. It's now habit for me to crack the lid a little first. Umhm, tell me Im the only one who didnt learned that one the hard way!
  • Ladeback69Ladeback69 Posts: 4,481
    KYJeff said:
    slow cooking, then searing a huge slab of pork belly. The fat caught fire when I seared it.  I closed the lid and flames shot out the bottom vent like a flame thrower and burnt my leg.   I incinerated my new pit probe gauge. it was the first night I used my bbq monitor.  I have learned you do not get crispy fat by searing and to wear pants while cooking.   
    I have had this happen once and was wearing pants.  I believe it is called the Back Draft Dragon.

    Now I have also had the regular back draft by not burping the egg before opening and left my BBQ Dragon fan running clipped to the side of my XL and didn't have the bottom vent open.  When I went to check on it, it was all melted.  The only food issue was cooking some tilapia. 
    XL, WSM, Coleman Road Trip Gas Grill

    Kansas City, Mo.
  • Photobucket Pictures Images and Photos
    Keepin' It Weird in The ATX FBTX
  • Photobucket Pictures Images and Photos
    lol might be a little "over"
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike


  • Photobucket Pictures Images and Photos
    lol might be a little "over"
    Twas a tad dry 
    Keepin' It Weird in The ATX FBTX
  • nolaeggheadnolaegghead Posts: 40,729
    don't know who this was

    Image result for big green egg broken

    ______________________________________________
    I collect junk and work as a lowly lab technician at the bench!!!!!
    WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  GREATNESS!!!!!!!!!
  • That's talent right there.
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike


  • One time in Mexico I blew a friend's DFMT thirty feet in the air.

    Steve 

    Caledon, ON

     

  • DMWDMW Posts: 13,832
    One time in Mexico I blew a friend's DFMT thirty feet in the air.
    Were there fireworks involved?
    They/Them
    Morgantown, PA

    XL BGE - S BGE - KJ Jr - HB Legacy - BS Pizza Oven - 30" Firepit - King Kooker Fryer -  PR72T - WSJ - BS 17" Griddle - XXL BGE  - BS SS36" Griddle - 2 Burner Gasser - Pellet Smoker
  • bgebrentbgebrent Posts: 19,636
    don't know who this was

    Image result for big green egg broken

    Is that your indirect set up?  Trying to perfect mine.
    Sandy Springs & Dawsonville Ga
  • lousubcaplousubcap Posts: 27,636
    For the record I believe it goes like this, " Suck ( fill in name as appropriate), blow is just figure of speech."  
    Louisville; "indeterminate Jim" here.  Rolling smoke in the neighbourhood. # 38 for the win.  Life is too short for light/lite beer!
  • One time in Mexico I blew a friend's DFMT thirty feet in the air.
    One time in Georgia you blew a philly lawyer 17,000 feet in the air. 

    I think that's what made him become a lesbian

    #milehighclub

  • BotchBotch Posts: 13,691
    Have yet to forget to burp Mr. Egg, but had two incidents:
    One:  Had a perfect pizza off the egg, on my metal peel, carrying it through the garage to the sliding door to my dining room; door was open 17" and I have an 18" peel.  Like jelly sammiches and retarded cats, the pie landed upside down on the garage floor; it also managed to find a pile of an unswept mixture of doghair and spider web, with perhaps a few dead flies thrown in.  Subway for dinner.
    The second was a bit more serious.  I had cooked something, removed it, and closed the bottom vent and my new SmokeWare cap; because of an approaching snowstorm I wheeled the Large back into my garage, even though it was still hot.  Later that night, I could swear I smelled a wiff of smoke; stepped into the garage and the smoke smell was strong.  Touched the Egg and she was HOT!  Both the bottom vent (which I could understand) and the SmokeWare cap (hard to believe) opened while I wheeled it only 10 feet or so.  That coulda been fatal via CO.  
    ____________________________________________

    What do we want?!?  Time Travel!!

    When do we want it?!?  Doesn't really matter.  

     

    Ogden, Utard  
  • ibandaibanda Posts: 553
    Once upon a time I was cooking a two layer batch of 60 ABTs using the Adjustable Rig on my LBGE for an office work party. I let the temp get away from me, somehow it got up to 600 degrees. There was a pretty good amount of bacon grease in my drip pan from the 5 dozen pieces of bacon. The grease ignited and went up in a fireball about 2 feet high.

    I grabbed a set of tongs and my silicon mitts and yanked the whole adjustable rig out of the egg and set it on the brick patio. I thought that would fix it, but it just moved the problem, the drip pan was connected to the AR and still shooting flames. I pulled the top grid off and saved 30 ABTs, they were still edible. The bottom layer was completely incinerated, most of them were just completely burned up.

    I wish I had a video of that cook! I don't think I will reach in there next time, but I had told work I was bringing ABTs and they were looking forward to them.


    "Bacon tastes gooood, pork chops taste gooood." - Vincent Vega, Pulp Fiction
    Small and Large BGE in Oklahoma City.
  • Little StevenLittle Steven Posts: 28,817
    edited December 2016
    One time in Mexico I blew a friend's DFMT thirty feet in the air.
    One time in Georgia you blew a philly lawyer 17,000 feet in the air. 

    I think that's what made him become a lesbian

    #milehighclub


    That wasn't me and the responsible parties shall remain nameless. I wasn't even on that flight

    Steve 

    Caledon, ON

     

  • minniemohminniemoh Posts: 2,137
    Photobucket Pictures Images and Photos
    Was this a marinated cook?

    L x2, M, S, Mini and a Blackstone 36. She says I have enough now....
    eggAddict from MN!
  • njlnjl Posts: 1,123
    don't know who this was

    Image result for big green egg broken

    That's one way to cook over a raised grid :)

    Who among us has not singed the hair on the inside of our arm (more than once)...or lit a fire, gone out 20min later to check on it, wondered why it was only ~200F, opened the lid too fast, and gotten a fire burp from an egg that's so hot, it's wrapped the thermometer around and is really up around >1000F?
  • minniemoh said:
    Photobucket Pictures Images and Photos
    Was this a marinated cook?

    very much so. Was hoping for 250 on the bottom and 124 on the top. Oh well.


    Keepin' It Weird in The ATX FBTX
  • minniemoh said:
    Photobucket Pictures Images and Photos
    Was this a marinated cook?

    There were watermelons involved. and rafts, and a 5 hour gap in time that I still do not recall
    Keepin' It Weird in The ATX FBTX
  • Photobucket Pictures Images and Photos
    lol might be a little "over"
    Twas a tad dry 
    That is surprising at such a low temp (-:
    Stillwater, MN
  • WeberWhoWeberWho Posts: 10,311
    I don't recommend running it over with your truck
    "The pig is an amazing animal. You feed a pig an apple and it makes bacon. Let's see Michael Phelps do that" - Jim Gaffigan

    Minnesota
  • Drank too much one night, woke up the next morning on the patio. Egg still going. Whole chicken still roasting.... 
    Large BGE, Adjustable Rig, Small BGE, 2 BBQ Guru's, 18" WSM, Rockwood, Stage 3 Roush Mustang and a hot wife... 

    Las Vegas, Nevada!
  • nolaeggheadnolaegghead Posts: 40,729
    minniemoh said:
    Photobucket Pictures Images and Photos
    Was this a marinated cook?

    There were watermelons involved. and rafts, and a 5 hour gap in time that I still do not recall
    Did that have anything to do with the time you called up the other John and told him to pick up a case of grapefruit, 2 handles of Titos, a roll of duct tape, at least 10 feet of garden hose, a megaphone, 1 mason jar, a gross of Popsicle sticks, a bird cage, snorkel and fins, but no mask, 4" flexible aluminum dryer duct, some Rutland gasket with a tube of Permatex (anything but gold, you said), 1 60 watt light bulb, a wooden crate from a turnip farm, green extension cord that's at least 14 gauge, two garden gnomes, one tube of anchovy paste, box of birthday candles, 6 old paperback books and a rusty trombone?
    ______________________________________________
    I collect junk and work as a lowly lab technician at the bench!!!!!
    WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  GREATNESS!!!!!!!!!
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