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Duke - part II

ZippylipZippylip Posts: 4,347
edited 5:36AM in EggHead Forum
It happened again. This time, I had taken him out on the leash to do his business, when done, back inside to change dogs & take Daisy out. I was sure the screen door was shut. I made it about ½ way down my driveway with Daisy when I saw what appeared to be a flash of light outa the corner of my eye. By the time I could focus on it, what I saw was Duke’s approximately 3.5 inch wide ass now about the size of a tic tac and getting smaller, seemingly going about 70mph across the street , up the neighbor’s driveway & out of sight.

I heard a woman scream (yea it was me), dropped the leash with Daisy & ran like a nut yelling for the dog. When I got into the back yard, I found him there running around in circles, tried as I might, I couldn’t grab him, & I didn’t have the bag of pupperoni to entice him.. after about a two minute chase, he bolted back down the driveway, across the street, took a sharp left & disappeared behind another neighbor’s house, I ran back there as fast as I could but he was gone (all one acre heavily wooded lots). Thinking right about now I’m screwed (losing someone else's $1,500 family member & all) & standing there trying to catch my breath, I see a pack of deer spring up from the brush & start galloping off all in one direction, then Duke appears in hot pursuit. Now I’m thinking holy Shizzle, these frigg’n deer can run God knows how many miles (more than my sorry ass) till they think they’re safe, from a dog the size of a grapefruit with legs no less, I am utterly screwed.

I chased. A couple yards away the deer for some reason split up (is that normal??? , I’m not a hunter), & Duke was running around in circles almost corkscrewing himself into the ground, he was so excited he didn’t know which one to chase. I collapsed, tired as hell by now but I also thought that he would think I was hurt & come to my aid – :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I’m apparently no smarter than the Duke.

Seeing him take off again I got up & chased him into another yard where he finally made his first critical error. Fortunately, they have a pool, & left their fence gate open. He ran in, I followed, shut the gate, then chased him around the pool 9 times till he ran into the corner & I trapped him, grabbed him, & laid there awaiting the heart attack. Thankfully, it didn’t cross Duke’s mind that he coulda slipped easily through the wrought iron fence leaving me trapped inside, his second mistake.

Injury report: Duke, none. Me, I ran through several sticker bushes, that hurts, what I believe was a vibrant patch of poison ivy, and although I cannot confirm this, I am relatively certain a deer tick is burrowing into my body somewhere.

The condemned:


here’s some fish



  • WessBWessB Posts: 6,937
    Great story.....the tic tac reference got it out loud....Thanks for the humor break..
  • 61chev61chev Posts: 539
    The orneryness just sticks out all over Duke
  • ZippylipZippylip Posts: 4,347
    glad to hear it, one of those things that completely sucks in real time but is funny when its over...
  • walruseggerwalrusegger Posts: 313
    Funny stuff! You probably considered throwing him on the egg after that battle ;-)
  • ZippylipZippylip Posts: 4,347
    little guy is like a Kangaroo too, from a stop he can jump straight up a few feet, like a jumping bean
  • misfitmisfit Posts: 358
    Sorry, but that's funny. ...Ummm, where's Daisy?
  • FlaPoolmanFlaPoolman Posts: 11,670
    Next time just write the check,,, it's cheaper than the hospital co-pays :ohmy: :laugh: :laugh:
  • ZippylipZippylip Posts: 4,347
    yea, but he'd squirm out through the top & take off again :ohmy:
  • QBabeQBabe Posts: 2,275
    OMG, I nearly stopped breathing I was laughing so hard...but then again, we have dogs...and they do things JUST like this...
  • LMAO! You should write a book, you have a GREAT way with words. Very entertaining reading, had me on the edge of my seat. :P
    BGE'er since 1996 Large BGE 1996, Small BGE 1996, Mini BGE 1997
  • hornhonkhornhonk Posts: 3,841
    I loved the story..especially the fish segue!
  • ZippylipZippylip Posts: 4,347
    well, my daughter heard me scream & came out & grabbed her. Daisy is much more sedate, 5 years old, really doesn't need to be on a leash, she is pretty good just hanging in the hut with us without it. But after the near disaster the other day when Duke took off the first time, I'm just a little nervous about both of them...
  • cookn bikercookn biker Posts: 13,407
    Funny, and sorry for your unexpected workout. You can skip the run in the morn now. ;)
    Bet you won't say yes to doggy sitting anymore. B)
    Colorado Springs
    "Loney Queen"
    "Respect your fellow human being, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it."
    Bill Bradley; American hall of fame basketball player, Rhodes scholar, former U.S. Senator from New Jersey
    LBGE, MBGE, SBGE , MiniBGE and a Mini Mini BGE
  • TNmikeTNmike Posts: 643
    Zippy, I'm laughing so hard I can hardly type! I was trying to read it to my wife and couldn't get through it for the laughing tears so she had to read it for herself. We are both still sitting here with tears running down our cheeks. The story was so good it was almost like watching a movie!! Mike
  • ZippylipZippylip Posts: 4,347
    you got that right, but the guilt, oh the guilt, forever being the "guy that lost the Duke"... :blink:
  • ZippylipZippylip Posts: 4,347
    Tonia, this is one of the reasons whe DON'T have dogs :laugh:
  • ZippylipZippylip Posts: 4,347
    thanks, I do appreciate the compliment, & believe me, I was on the edge too, couldn't even drink a beer for about a 1/2 an hour following this
  • ZippylipZippylip Posts: 4,347
    well it is the BGE users forum & all :laugh:
  • ZippylipZippylip Posts: 4,347
    I think you're right, on both counts
  • Little ChefLittle Chef Posts: 4,725
    Zip...With all respect know what they say about carma?? Now THAT was funny!!! :laugh: :silly: B)
  • ZippylipZippylip Posts: 4,347
    Mike, this is why I never have trouble laughing at others... i find it truly funny too, nearly outsmarted by a dog with a brain smaller than a little smoky
  • ZippylipZippylip Posts: 4,347
    I know I know, I feel the ill effects of it every single day
  • HungryManHungryMan Posts: 3,470
    I had to go back and read the tic tac thing. I thought I have heard and seen everything. I guess, not true.
  • uglydoguglydog Posts: 256
    Zippy, if you are half as good at lawyering as your are at writing, I'll be happy to hire you. I thought I might have needed you last week; I was making pizza dough using a recipe from some guy on the BGE forum named Zippylip, and my Kitchen Aid kept stalling momentarily while it was kneading the dough. It finally shut down altogether, but the dough was done being kneaded. I wanted to ask your legal opinion about suing the guy who created the dough recipe. However, once the KA cooled down the thermal overload on the motor reset and it was all good again. BTW, the dough made some excellent pizza. That recipe always works well for me.
    Now I'm thinking about getting a small, active dog. Would you be interested in dogsitting it when I go on vacation?

    Thanks for the laughs.

  • FYI
    I notice you are in West Chester, Pennsylvania. Did you know the original manufacturer of thermo's for BGE well over a decade ago was Trend Instruments Inc. 887 South Matlack St. zip 19382 and was bought by WIKA of , Lawrenceville, Ga but is still handled by in West Chester, PA Some of the BEST thermos on the market. I still use Trend/Wika today and blow away others
    BGE'er since 1996 Large BGE 1996, Small BGE 1996, Mini BGE 1997
  • Lawn RangerLawn Ranger Posts: 5,466
    Little Turd! (You and Duke) Had me scared there for a minute and expecting the worse....(cars, trucks, etc.) Had my heartrate up reading the story. Bad Dogs!,...No Biscuit!!

    Glad both of you are OK...Go lick your wounds, or whatever, and don't ever do that again! :silly:

  • ZippylipZippylip Posts: 4,347
    dog, that's funny, there was a time when I tried to kill my Kitchenaid mixing pasta dough (which is like cement), couldn't kill it, still have it & now it's a champ; & yea, not thanks on the dog sitting, just came back inside from doing their pre-bedtime 'thing'. The reason I've been taking them out one at a time is that a few days ago one of the two leashes we started with snapped, & as I was out there just now I couldn't help but think that if the remaining one broke & that little bastid took off again, I'd've just come back in & gone to bed, there'd be no chance of finding a little black object like him at night, & it's really, really dark around here, no street lights, nothing... but all ended well...
  • ZippylipZippylip Posts: 4,347
    I know, I thought about that, fortunately there is very little traffic on the street here so odds are slim he'd get hit; the most terrifying thing is that the dog really doesn't know my house so if he trotted off any appreciable distance he wouldn't know how to get back, & what's worse is he has no ID tag on his collar (not sure why???), so nobody would know how to contact the brother & sister in law if they found him... of course all this is running through my head as I'm running after him like a psycho
  • WessBWessB Posts: 6,937
    What is all this just trying to bump up your post count..I see how it works now.... :laugh:
  • FlaPoolmanFlaPoolman Posts: 11,670
    And I'll never be able to eat a tic tac again :sick:
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