I found this post on another forum from "Gary in TX". I thought some may find it as hilarious as I did. He uses a different type of smoker (one kinda shaped like a suppository, as referred to in number 22.)[p]
1. Do not use wife's sewing scissors to open cryovac.
2. If you violate Rule 1, do not toss scissors into dishwater.
3. Do not use wife's Air-Bake jelly roll pan to trim ribs.
4. If you violate Rule 3, do not scratch the Teflon surface.
5. If you violate Rule 3 and wife says pan was handed down from her
great-grandmother, do not point out that Teflon surfaces did not
6. If you violate Rule 3, do not immerse Air-Bake pan in dishwater.
7. If you use a pan on the countertop, do not "scrunch" it around and
leave marks on the surface.
8. Do not splash mustard sop on kitchen wallpaper.
9. If you violate Rule 8, do not scrub wallpaper with Brillo pad.
10. Do not drip mustard sop on floor.
11. If you violate Rule 10, do not try to sweep it up with wife's
12. Do not fire up the charcoal chimney where it fills the garage
13. If you violate Rule 12, do not use your air compressor to blow the
smoke out of the garage; you'll stir up sawdust which settles
on wife's car.
14. Do not set up smoker in the middle of the driveway, where wife
can't get car out of garage.
15. Do not use wife's plastic water can to add water to smoker.
16. If you violate Rule 15, do not drip water in kitchen floor.
17. If you violate Rule 16, see Rule 11.
18. If you violate Rule 15, do not set can next to smoker; it will
19. Do not put trimmings into plastic bag and set in the driveway.
20. If you violate Rule 19, the neighbor's dog will choke on the
membrane and puke in the driveway.
21. If you violate Rule 19, see Rule 11.
22. If wife threatens to use WSM as a WMD, do not tell her that it
will not fit where she proposes to put it.