In less than 3 months I'm going to be 65 years old. You know - OR if you don't that means you can apply for Social Security even though you have NOT reached your age defined retirement age (no longer 65 folks!!!) to receive 100%!
Anyway, I arrived at the SS office today about 9:12 braced for the worst. After reading the sign out front I made sure I left my phone, my drink, my food, my weapon and some other evil items behind. Though the office had not opened until 9:00 there were already 18 people waiting in chairs all with nothing to read so I guess my newspaper made half of them spontaneously think and slap their head as if to say "why the hell didn't I bring something to read?" I'm sure the other half there today couldn't read anyway! I swear within minutes a 40 passenger bus must have dropped off a load of people so immediately I thought this was my lucky day to be ahead of the crowd!
I proceeded to the station with a computer touch screen, made my selection as for why I was there and not at home enjoying my retirement and the printer spit out a slip saying I was number 7. Lucky day, lucky number I thought! I sat down and started to read my newspaper. After about 10 minutes someone in a window yelled out "number 94". I assumed most people there couldn't comprehend a number higher than 100 so I quickly did the math and decided that meant there were 13 people ahead of me so...was my number 7 more lucky than superstitious 13 or not? Time would tell...
I'm not a social snob nor germ-a-phobic, but there were people of all walks of life and I was happy to have staked out a chair at the end of a row furthest from the door hoping most people would take the nearest seat to the door, die in transit, or otherwise melt from body odor.
Much to my surprise I moved though the process with ease and was back in my car along with my phone, water and weapon of choice precisely 1 hour later having completed the application!.
It actually went well, but the episode made me feel old...like someone on a public address system at the SS building announced "ATTENTION: RRP has just applied for Medicare! Now WATCH OUT the old fart is driving off in a car!"