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I suck at cooking with the Egg - I'm selling it!



  • For 2000 years man has been cooking with ceramic komodo type ovens with much success. Thats before the printing press and the internet. So in 2009 there is a guy who is ready to give up after a few weeks of trying, with that kind of fortatude America would have never been discovered much less fire may have never been utilized by man. You my friend may be destined to forever broil on gas. Everyone of us have suffered set backs of Big Green Egg cooking, thats what makes it interesting and fun, it's the fact that it does require some skill, that fact sets the BGE apart from the the rest, with a little bit of skill and knowlege you can turn out superior meals. If you are in the mind set that you can't cook on it. That it's too hard then so be it, give up and walk away. If you do decide to stick it out and develope some skills, Welcome the forum is here to help.
  • Celtic WolfCeltic Wolf Posts: 9,773
    I kind of resent that remark..

    For the record The Naked Whiz IS a forum Member..
  • It took a while but I'm betting my "perfect steak" on the Egg is better than his "perfect steak" on the gasser.

    Spring "Nothing Is Perfect, Nor Imperfect" Chicken
  • stikestike Posts: 15,597
    i think you make a good point. we all had a little learning curve.

    but i'd bet each of our first posts to the forum were a little less antagonistic and a little more congenial . most of us came here with a little humility and asked for suggestions, rather than venting our spleen and decrying everything rather than acknowledging we needed some help to get over the hump.

    and despite the "this thing is very expensive and everything that's come off it is crap" tone, he still has plenty of offers for help.
    ed egli avea del cul fatto trombetta -Dante
  • GandolfGandolf Posts: 882
    And he hasn't been back??
  • tjvtjv Posts: 3,652
    I gamble but never against a sure thing, so I'll pass. T ACGP, Inc.
  • tjvtjv Posts: 3,652
    I've thrown up an eybrow raising post or three in my day....just like cooking on the egg, there is a learning curve to this forum posting thing too.

    What's your favorite steak temp at grid level. I'm playing again and wonder if too hot is a bad thing, above 750 grid temp too hot. T ACGP, Inc.
  • tjvtjv Posts: 3,652
    would rep refer to your repartee,

    yep, I had to look that one up to spell correctly, originally missed it, shocker there! ACGP, Inc.
  • stikestike Posts: 15,597
    i probably think i'm shooting for 700, but am at 600-650 most of the time. doesn't need to be too hot.

    the lump is at 1200 or so, radiant heat, even when the dome temp is at 600. plenty hot for me. of course when the dome days 750, there's a lot MORE lump at 1200 than when i cook at 650. but i don't need that... i just cook two steaks usually.
    ed egli avea del cul fatto trombetta -Dante
  • stikestike Posts: 15,597
    maybe, unlike me, he works for a living!
    he'll be back tonight, maybe.
    ed egli avea del cul fatto trombetta -Dante
  • He posted at 11:30 last night. He may not be able to visit the forum until late tonight. Some people work odd schedules. He may also be intimidated by the volume of the replies and the tone of some of them.

    That said, it is curious that he claims he used the same procedure and once ended up with bloody meat and twice he got jerky. That makes no sense. Steak should be about the easiest thing to cook on an Egg. My very first cook on my large was ribeyes and they were the best I'd ever cooked. I guarantee you I was no expert on my first cook. His request for a table of cook times vs. steak thicknesses makes me think he doesn't understand how to cook steak and that perhaps he has been dialing a gasser to a fixed setting, and experience then told him how long to leave the meat on the cooker until the middle was the way he liked it. Hard to say.

    But CAEggFan, if you do come back, you may benefit from understanding how to cook steaks in a way that doesn't rely on some fixed times and thicknesses. If you haven't already, you should try the simple sear and roast method. Sear the meat at a very hot temperature to produce the Maillard reaction that develops flavor on the surface of the meat (I like 2 minutes per side), then lower the temperature to about 400 degrees and roast the steaks until they are done. How to tell they are done? Experts can tell my pressing the steak to see how firm it is. I use a Thermopen and measure the internal temperature of the meat. Good luck, whatever you choose to do.
    The Naked Whiz
  • Grandpas GrubGrandpas Grub Posts: 14,226
    Haven't read all the replies, with that said, I would think there has been a lot of offers to help you and probably a couple of offers to buy your egg.

    It seems to me you have posted before, however, I don't remember the tenor of your posts.

    I have to honestly say except for one exception I have never had a bad cook come off of the eggs. How often do I cook on the egg, well I am not exactly sure but it is over 600 pounds - over 1/4 ton of lump.

    The best think I learned was not to cook to time, rather cook to temperature. One of the best investments I have ever made was getting a thermopen (accept no substitutes).

    My one disaster was with roasting nuts - terrible results.

    I have never cooked any type steak on the egg that wasn't better than 'good'. Many steak cooks that have been 'wow' this is as good as or better than xxxx restaurant to include Ruth's Cris Steak House.

    Many say there is a learning curve to getting good results. There was never a learning curve for me, I followed the instructions, video that came with the egg and what I read and was told here on the forum.

    If you 'want help' I and many others will be more than willing to help you out. Send your phone number (happy to call you on my dime) or ask here on the forum.

    GG (Kent)
  • Grandpas GrubGrandpas Grub Posts: 14,226
    Some good thoughts there.

    I remember on one of my early cooks I used to put the steak directly on the lava looking lump for 60 to 90 seconds/side. They came out great medium rare. The steaks were normal store cut, guessing 1/2 to 3/4 inch thick. I didn't have a thermometer I could use inside a hot egg at that time.

    Resolving his problem really wouldn't take much time if he is willing to comeback and ask for help.

  • Hi there Anne, yes I am doing better, thank you. The hand and arm are still stiff and numb, time will tell I guess. Yes will be in Ocala, the wife and I are headed up on Thursday and staying till Sunday. We are staying at camp site 34. Gonna party all week if I am up for it :blink: and anyone else that wants to come by all are welcome. :)
  • EggtuckyEggtucky Posts: 2,746
    Yeah, i'll reserve judgement. BTW, he posted at 11:35 and within 25 minutes had 8 responses...I suspect more likely he logged on...ranted throuh his post and logged of this post he must have approaching 50+ responses that span nearly a full page on the forum.. just irritates me...sorry.
  • TXTrikerTXTriker Posts: 1,177
    I just want to say that I admire all the names above this message. This is the greatest group of people ever assembled in one place.
  • Car Wash MikeCar Wash Mike Posts: 11,244
    Either inflation or the economy. :woohoo: :P If you check back in, let people know where your from. Try to attend an eggfest thats holds classes.
    The single (2) biggest problems I see with new users is. Lighting the egg and stabilizing the temp.

  • bubba timbubba tim Posts: 3,216
    77 replies and he never comes back with a comment? VERY strange!
    SEE YOU IN FLORIDA, March 14th and 15th 2014 You must master temp, smoke, and time to achive moisture, taste, and texture! Visit for BRISKET HELP
  • Car Wash MikeCar Wash Mike Posts: 11,244
    I don't reply to many of these "I'm selling my egg" "It sucks" But he did take the time to register.

  • stanstan Posts: 51
    Regardless of CAEggFan's ability or willingness to come back to the forum, the passion of Eggers and their willingness to help one and all sets this forum apart. My thanks to all.

  • OzarkQOzarkQ Posts: 150
    Uhh... I smell troll guys.
  • Well well, it is clear that there is a lot of passion for the Egg and lots of terrific support! Thank you all for the kind words (except in KY :angry: ).

    NO I'm not selling the egg! :laugh: I had been drinking some great California red wine while cooking and put on a 1/2 " steak on and burnt it to a crisp. I was pissed b/c there isn't a step by step guide. So I posted here right before I went to bed. Now I can finally reply.

    Clearly these forums are the way to get information. I will try to read up on all the replies and just keep trying. It's a wonderful device that is much different than my gas grill but my goal is to use it for many decades to come.

    Oh and I live in San Jose, CA.

    Thanks again!
  • Celtic WolfCeltic Wolf Posts: 9,773
    If you live in San Jose I suggest that you go visit the Eggs By the Bay store and have a chat with Dary Smith aka SmittytheSmoker.

    Eggs by The Bay

    I am more than positive Dary will assist you..

    That and runs a hell of Eggfest every June.
  • So here's what I did...I lit the grill using one of those green egg fire starters. I open all vents full and waited a good 30mins. Filled the firebox up pretty much to the top. Got the grill up to a good 650deg.

    Now I dumped in Oak chips (already soaked and drained). right after I dumped chips i put on steaks. I had put a coffee rub on the steaks to try something different. I read the book that came with grill and it tells me to flip every two minutes 3 times and then shut down everything and leave for a few more minutes.

    I pulled steaks and let them rest and then we dug in to what resembled beef jerkey. The steaks were charred and totally done and dry inside .

    Oh well here's what I learned from reading the replies:

    1. Don't cook steaks less than 1" thick. Or at least not at 650+deg. Maybe more like 500deg for less than 1 minute each side.
    2. Forget about smoking chips and rubs for now.
    3. Use the same thickness of steaks until I can time it right.
    4. Use these forums ALOT!
  • BENTEBENTE Posts: 8,337
    well if you burned the cr@p out of it then your thermometer proabably looked like this for more than 2 min a side


    i had my egg for 4 years before i had steady interned access... and the owners manuel told me how to do a perfect steak.. i never had a bad one that way.. but since i have been hanging around the forum i have tried several diffrent ways to cook a steak.. proabably the best way that i have found is here::

    i like that methoud alot.. but i am guessing you did not have a timer out beside you when you were cooking the steak.. that would be my first investment if i were you..

    come back don't let everyone's doubt in your story as negativity.. we do from time to time get people who come on here and try to get the whole board all rilled up... but as long as you ask questions and answer a few we can all help you ;)

    happy eggin


    Anderson S.C.

    "Life is too short to be diplomatic. A man's friends shouldn't mind what he does or says- and those who are not his friends, well, the hell with them. They don't count."

    Tyrus Raymond Cobb

  • Haha! That was a great ride! Dude, you've got the right attitude. Only your 3rd post and you were pulling everyone's chain whether you meant to or not!

    I just went for the ride but it was obvious that we had a difficult time figuring out how to deal with your post. But I gotta say, this was one of the most entertaining threads I've seen in a while. I hope you got some good suggestions from it. We were trying awfully hard!

    Seriously, good luck with your next steak and keep on eggin.
  • RRPRRP Posts: 21,383
    a 1/2" thick steak? Is that right? One half of one inch and you wonder why it got burnt to a crisp? Thanks - I think you finally revealed you are a troll! Next time put that "big boy" in a toaster!
    L, M, S, Mini
    Dunlap, IL
    Re- gasketing AMERICA one yard at a time!
  • Not a troll at all :angry:

    Look, the wife gets these steaks from this place called Omaha Steaks. In fact she gets alot of stuff from there - makes it easy to make meals since we both work full time.

    So she got these ribeyes that weren't very thick (1/2" may be a bit small - maybe more like 3/4" but doubt 1"). Yep they cook real fast as it turns out.

    Steaks are our favorite grilling dish although I did try an all day rib recipe that turned out pretty good (learned how to keep grill down to 250deg for almost 6hrs). So I'll continue to practice and will eventually get it right.

    Oh and I just bought a wireless thermometer (Maverick) tonight so will start using that.
  • BENTEBENTE Posts: 8,337
    don't use a probe thermometer over 400 degrees that is how i ended up with two timers ;)

    happy eggin


    Anderson S.C.

    "Life is too short to be diplomatic. A man's friends shouldn't mind what he does or says- and those who are not his friends, well, the hell with them. They don't count."

    Tyrus Raymond Cobb

  • Celtic WolfCeltic Wolf Posts: 9,773
    First you really need to get over Omaha Steaks and find a better butcher.

    They are over priced and over rated. I can go to Costco and get a thicker better steak at a better price.

    Try getting steaks 1" or better and enjoy them.
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