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Stumps blast from the past

StumpBabyStumpBaby Posts: 55
edited 6:27AM in EggHead Forum
Thought I lost this post. I had yet another bad day today. I'm pretty shore someone done pee'd on my CapnCrunch this mornin. anyway, I was lookin through old post to make mineself happy again. I'm a Stump, I'm up, I'm down, I'm all over the place, my brotha once called me a Manic Depressive Prick. I don't believe that, I think I got good old american issues is all...liike mose otha folks I gess...anyway I like to think he regrets sayin that to if not life goes on anyway....but I came across this nugget I wrote a number of years ago about a storm what hit me when I was maybe not quite ready for it at work won day....

Name: StumpBaby
Subject: What I learned today..
Body of Message:

In case ya'll didn't know..we got hit with a big snow storm today, multi car pileups the whole nine yards. Took me a loooong time to get home
today...and this is what I've learned today.....

I'm so happy when I learn new things each's todays list...

1) Short shoes should not be worn until well into May.
2) If, for some stupid reason, short shoes ARE worn before May, one
should wear socks.
3) There is a limit to the amount of stress that a plastic serving spoon
can take, that limit is roughly equal to the pressure of scraping 4
inches of snow off of a car windshield.
4) $4.99 really isn't a bad price for an ice scraper.
5) When scraping snow off of the windshield, always push it away from
where you're standing, this is especially true if you didn't follow
lesson number 1 and 2 above.
6) There are roughly 10 stages of frostbite, one for each toe.
7) There IS a podiatrist in my town, and they ARE covered by my insurance.
8) There really is value in clearing off the snow from the entire front of the car, not just the windshield.
9) Snowplows really do travel at a safe speed.
10) 1995 Toyota Celicas do indeed have blind spots.
10) The theory of Aerodynamics may need rethinking. I found out that my car CAN travel just as fast sideways down the road, as it does frontways
down the road. This goes against all theories of aerodynamics, yet it happened. I was starting to think maybe all scientific theories should
be reviewed, that is until the theory of sound travel was confirmed a split second later..I found that I really CAN scream so loud I couldn't
hear it. I felt much better after this.
11) Steering wheels are not that strong, and can be bent with bare human hands.
12) Accidents can be avoided simply by screaming as loud as one can, closing your eyes, and holding on for dear life.
13) Deep down inside, I am a religious person.
14) The is a correlation to how badly I needed winshield washer fluid, and how many stations are out of it.
15) Windshield wipers are not good when dry.
16) No matter how long you live with somebody, you can still learn new things. Today I learned what happens when I forget to call my wife and tell her that I left the office a good three hours AFTER I told her I was going to. I saw some new faces AND learned some new words, a 2 for one deal. Not bad.
17) Stain stick does not get every stain out.
18) When my wife says she worries about me..some times she means
19) Sometimes it IS OK to drink on a weeknight.

Hope you all have a happy day!



  • JLOCKHART29JLOCKHART29 Posts: 5,897
  • RRPRRP Posts: 18,943
    Actually I remember that from when you first posted it. And as I recall I printed it, slapped on the Xerox and shared your brand of humor with fellow employees back here in IL. We knew ALL of the things you posted but you showed it in a humorous way! This memory kicker reminded me ONCE again why I've been a fan of yours for years! Paul, I hope you get well, get a GOOD job that you enjoy, and find peace in your life.
    L, M, S, Mini
    Dunlap, IL
  • HammerHammer Posts: 1,001
    Two post's in one day. A treat!
    Stay well my friend!
  • Thanks for everything you said there Ron. We've "known" each other for a long time over this forum, and your comments above mean a lot to me. As for my um..physical health, I'm much better today than I've been in maybe three years now. I still have some back pain, but I kicked all the meds and I can deal with what I have left for pain. I'm not going to go off and do any fancy gymnastics, but just the other day, for the first time in three years, I picked up both of my little girls. The smiles on their precious little faces was unbelievably heavenly. I'll tell you what, If I hurt myself doing that, it would have been worth every bit of pain to see the joy on their faces just once, but I didn't hurt myself and that made it all the more sweet.

    As for my job, well I'm a little stressed out about that. I've never been out of work before. I have a pretty strong background in software quality and I straddle the line between "real" software development and "test development", meaning I can go both ways(don't spread that around) so the skill set is there, I just need to have more patience I guess. I'm close on two, maybe three things. By weeks end I should know what's available to me. I'm looking, for the first time in my career, for a large company to hopefully get some stability this go around. I've worked mostly for small startup software companies, some were successful, some were not, so this time I need to look for something more stable and long term. Two of the places I'm looking at fit that bill, one does not. I'm hopeful, but always the house and the welfare of the family are on my mind. I have some backup rainy day funds, and we live fairly frugally, never splurge, but still you never know what's around the bend and you have to be ready. I personally think things will work their way out by weeks end. I've been lucky to have a wife who understands, and has been home raising the kids for 10 years now, puttin her own career goals aside in the interest of raising the kids. Bless her fine fuzzy little self. Not many young families can say that, and for that I am truely thankful.

    As for finding peace, I'll just be happy to get back to where I was three years ago. I'm not sure it was peace, but it was as close to that as I've ever been. Peace to me means my mind is at ease, and while it always has been around my family, there's just that one small piece that, for 6+ years now, has turned me into the Stumpbaby that I am on here, and for that "outlet" I am thankful.

    Sorry for the long post Ron, but your reply got me to thinkin bout what I've been through in the last three years, and what it took to scratch and claw my way back. A struggle it has been, for both me and my whole family, but we all see the end in sight, and for that we'll be glad.

    Thanks Ron, it's much appreciated, I think tonight, once again, I've shown the soft underbelly of the beast, so be it.

    Paul AKA StumpBaby
  • Thank heavens StumpBaby is OK. I do not visit the forum as often because of newborn twins but had noticed the absence of the Stump. When I saw an ole StumpBaby post it brought a smile to my face...

  • Cpt'n CookCpt'n Cook Posts: 1,917
    Stump, you do have your "Ways and stays"
  • SundownSundown Posts: 2,959
    I know it raining but you should go cook something eating ribs will satisfy some of your odd urges and help start you on the road to recover the "Ol' Stump".

    Life should be a lot easier without the meds trust me, I know. My best to you.
  • WooDoggiesWooDoggies Posts: 2,390
    Good to hear your feeling better buddy! When StumpBaby's happy, the world is a better place.

    Hope to see your oversized cranium and Mr McForehead in a few short months.


    We'll continue to send good vibes el norte way on your job search.

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