Stumps blast from the past

Thought I lost this post. I had yet another bad day today. I'm pretty shore someone done pee'd on my CapnCrunch this mornin. anyway, I was lookin through old post to make mineself happy again. I'm a Stump, I'm up, I'm down, I'm all over the place, my brotha once called me a Manic Depressive Prick. I don't believe that, I think I got good old american issues is all...liike mose otha folks I gess...anyway I like to think he regrets sayin that to me..an if not life goes on anyway....but I came across this nugget I wrote a number of years ago about a storm what hit me when I was maybe not quite ready for it at work won day....

Name: StumpBaby
E-Mail: paul@syncinc.com
Subject: What I learned today..
Body of Message:

In case ya'll didn't know..we got hit with a big snow storm today, multi car pileups the whole nine yards. Took me a loooong time to get home
today...and this is what I've learned today.....

I'm so happy when I learn new things each day..here's todays list...

1) Short shoes should not be worn until well into May.
2) If, for some stupid reason, short shoes ARE worn before May, one
should wear socks.
3) There is a limit to the amount of stress that a plastic serving spoon
can take, that limit is roughly equal to the pressure of scraping 4
inches of snow off of a car windshield.
4) $4.99 really isn't a bad price for an ice scraper.
5) When scraping snow off of the windshield, always push it away from
where you're standing, this is especially true if you didn't follow
lesson number 1 and 2 above.
6) There are roughly 10 stages of frostbite, one for each toe.
7) There IS a podiatrist in my town, and they ARE covered by my insurance.
8) There really is value in clearing off the snow from the entire front of the car, not just the windshield.
9) Snowplows really do travel at a safe speed.
10) 1995 Toyota Celicas do indeed have blind spots.
10) The theory of Aerodynamics may need rethinking. I found out that my car CAN travel just as fast sideways down the road, as it does frontways
down the road. This goes against all theories of aerodynamics, yet it happened. I was starting to think maybe all scientific theories should
be reviewed, that is until the theory of sound travel was confirmed a split second later..I found that I really CAN scream so loud I couldn't
hear it. I felt much better after this.
11) Steering wheels are not that strong, and can be bent with bare human hands.
12) Accidents can be avoided simply by screaming as loud as one can, closing your eyes, and holding on for dear life.
13) Deep down inside, I am a religious person.
14) The is a correlation to how badly I needed winshield washer fluid, and how many stations are out of it.
15) Windshield wipers are not good when dry.
16) No matter how long you live with somebody, you can still learn new things. Today I learned what happens when I forget to call my wife and tell her that I left the office a good three hours AFTER I told her I was going to. I saw some new faces AND learned some new words, a 2 for one deal. Not bad.
17) Stain stick does not get every stain out.
18) When my wife says she worries about me..some times she means
physically.
19) Sometimes it IS OK to drink on a weeknight.

Hope you all have a happy day!

StumpBaby