OT- What's the funniest thing you've "discovered" the next day after a night of one too many?

Spring break, junior year of college.  With three of my buddies we spent the week in South Padre Island.  I've not shared this story with too many people, for perhaps the obvious reasons.  

My aunt and uncle ran an RV business just outside of Brownsville.  To this day I'll never understand why they let me and my college friends borrow one of their RVs for the week, but they did.  So we set up on one of the trailer parks on the island, and that was our lodging for the week.  

If you've never heard of South Padre Island during spring break, it's a little hard to quite do justice to the bacchanal that is the mix of young college kids, sunshine, wet t-shirt contests, and an open container law.  One of the tamer things that happened the week we were there is that a kid who was clearly high on something ran with a full head of steam out the window of a 17th floor hotel room, reportedly cursing at the hotel security who'd been chasing him the whole way down.  

Anyway... there were four of us.  Me and my friends Jay, Dave, and Ken.  Ken was the solidly Irish member amongst us, one of those guys who could drink an entire bottle of southern comfort on his own and not lose a step.  One night when we were out at the bars we got separated.  Not all of us made it back to the RV.  When we woke up in the morning, Ken was missing.  We talked about where we'd last seen him and nobody really remembered.  Mind you, this was in the early 90's.  None of us had cell phones.   

I'll never forget Dave saying in that moment "Let's drive to the jail.  I bet he's in jail."  

We got to the jail around 11 or so.  We walk in and say to the officer at the front desk "Ah ... do you have a Ken MacFarland here?"

The officer looks up from her desk and without skipping a beat, says "Oh yeah.  We've got him."

So we say well what's the deal, do we need to bail him out or what?  She tells us that actually he's just about to appear in the courtroom before the judge and that if we wanted to, we could sit in the back of the courtroom and watch the proceedings.  You bet your ass we wanted to.

We snuck into the courtroom to join about 20 of our fellow travelers who had all had the same thoughts we did, that their missing friends had probably landed themselves in jail.  

My friends, I cannot begin to do justice to the comedy we witnessed over the next hour or so, as the judge proceeded to read the police reports from the night before, in all of their glorious detail,  for each of the defendants appearing in front of him.   There is an island running down the main drag of South Padre that separates the lanes.  One kid was arrested for public intoxication when the police found him hugging one of the trees in the island.  When asked what he was doing there, his only response was "can't you see, officer?  I'm dancing with my girlfriend!"

Another young man was caught walking down the beach with seven road signs in his hand.  The fine was $100 a sign.  After telling the judge he didn't have the money to pay the fine, the judge told him he could work it off in the jail, at a level of $50 a day.  Heckofa way to spend a spring break.  

So then Ken comes up.  He just tells the judge "Sir, I just want to pay my fine and be on my way."  Oh no, the judge says, "Mr. MacFarland, I haven't found you guilty of anything... yet."

Ken's police report was rather tame by comparison to some of the others we'd heard, though no less embarrassing for him. Apparently he'd wandered into a hotel that was not his by any stretch, and had made his way onto some balcony.  He proceeded to toss his cookies over the edge of the balcony, onto the unwitting spectators below.  Once picked up by the police, he also vomited into the door well in the back of the police car.  

Ken later told us that he had no memory of any of this, and that the last thing he remembers is waking up in the morning on the cement floor to see bars in front of his face.  

Fortunately for Ken he did have the money to pay the $200 fine and he was released.  We promised him that this was a story we would never share with anyone else, which lasted about one week after we got back to school.