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Need to laugh please post something funny...off topic

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  • Acn
    Acn Posts: 4,424
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    LBGE

    Pikesville, MD

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  • JethroVA
    JethroVA Posts: 1,251
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    A study has revealed that the type of man's face a woman is attracted to can vary based on where she is in her menstrual cycle.  

    If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

    If she is menstruating or menopausal, she's more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire. 

    No further studies are expected. 

    Richmond and Mathews County, VA. Large BGE, Weber gas, little Weber charcoal. Vintage ManGrates. Little reddish portable kamado that shall remain nameless here.  Very Extremely Stable Genius. 
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  • ryantt
    ryantt Posts: 2,532
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    @LDR now that's funny and most likely true. 
    XL BGE, KJ classic, Joe Jr, UDS x2 


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  • DoubleEgger
    DoubleEgger Posts: 17,174
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  • SciAggie
    SciAggie Posts: 6,481
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    Lemons under the skin for Thanksgiving. For seasoning, of course...
    Coleman, Texas
    Large BGE & Mini Max for the wok. A few old camp Dutch ovens and a wood fired oven. LSG 24” cabinet offset smoker. There are a few paella pans and a Patagonia cross in the barn. A curing chamber for bacterial transformation of meats...
    "Bourbon slushies. Sure you can cook on the BGE without them, but why would you?"
                                                                                                                          YukonRon
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  • jabam
    jabam Posts: 1,829
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    A man was sunbathing naked at the beach.

    For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he covered his privates with a hat.

    A woman walks past, smiles and says "If you were a gentlemen, you would lift your hat for a lady"

    He looked at her, raised an eyebrow and said "If you weren't so ugly, it would lift itself"


    Central Valley CA     One large egg One chocolate lab "Halle" two chiuahuas "Skittles and PeeWee"
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  • ryantt
    ryantt Posts: 2,532
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    Now that's funny.  
    XL BGE, KJ classic, Joe Jr, UDS x2 


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  • Rascal
    Rascal Posts: 3,923
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    Hillary Clinton is running for president!!~~
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  • GATraveller
    GATraveller Posts: 8,207
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    "Social media gives legions of idiots the right to speak when they once only spoke at a bar after a glass of wine, without harming the community [...] but now they have the same right to speak as a Nobel Prize winner. It's the invasion of the idiots."
                                                                                  -Umberto Eco

    2 Large
    Peachtree Corners, GA
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  • DoubleEgger
    DoubleEgger Posts: 17,174
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  • ryantt
    ryantt Posts: 2,532
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    Not that funny @GATraveller and @DoubleEgger
    XL BGE, KJ classic, Joe Jr, UDS x2 


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  • Woody
    Woody Posts: 125
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    CATHOLIC HORSES
     
    A bookie was at the races playing the ponies and losing his shirt.
     
    He noticed a Priest step out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one
    of the horses lining up for the 4th race.
     
    Lo and behold, that horse - a long shot - won the race.
     
    Next race, as the horses lined up, the Priest stepped onto the track. Sure
    enough, he blessed one of the horses.
     
    The bookie made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on
    the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse won the
    race.
     
    He collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the
    Priest would bless next. He bet big on it, and it won. As the races
    continued the Priest kept blessing horses, and each one ended up winning.
     
    The bookie was elated. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his
    savings, and awaited for the Priest's blessing that would tell him which
    horse to bet on ...
     
    True to his pattern, the Priest stepped onto the track for the last race
    and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was 100/1.
     
    This time the priest blessed the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag. The
    bookie knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag.

    He watched dumbfounded as the old nag pulled up and couldn't even finish
    the race. In a state of shock, he went to the track area where the Priest was.
     
    Confronting him, he demanded, 'Father! What happened? All day long you
    blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you
    blessed never even had a chance. Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of
    my savings! The Priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. "You're not
    Catholic are you my son?"
     
    "No, I'm Jewish".
     
    "That's the problem", said the Priest, "you couldn't tell the difference
    between a blessing and last rites".
    Woody in Northville, MI
    Large BGE with AR R & B Oval Combo w/Extender and Sliding D Grid, Kick Ash Basket, Smokeware Cap, Wok, Grill Grates and Kettle Q
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  • Acn
    Acn Posts: 4,424
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    LBGE

    Pikesville, MD

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  • Tspud1
    Tspud1 Posts: 1,486
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    Two cannibals eating a clown, one looks at the other and says "Taste anything funny"
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  • ryantt
    ryantt Posts: 2,532
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    @DoubleEgger and @GATraveller above post was supposed to read now that is funny.  I hate the auto correct and complete on my phone.   Sorry about that, I actually could not stop laughing at your post.  
    XL BGE, KJ classic, Joe Jr, UDS x2 


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  • GATraveller
    GATraveller Posts: 8,207
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    ryantt said:
    @DoubleEgger and @GATraveller above post was supposed to read now that is funny.  I hate the auto correct and complete on my phone.   Sorry about that, I actually could not stop laughing at your post.  

    I just figured I needed to step up my game. 

    "Social media gives legions of idiots the right to speak when they once only spoke at a bar after a glass of wine, without harming the community [...] but now they have the same right to speak as a Nobel Prize winner. It's the invasion of the idiots."
                                                                                  -Umberto Eco

    2 Large
    Peachtree Corners, GA
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  • DoubleEgger
    DoubleEgger Posts: 17,174
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    That's what I figured @ryantt
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  • DoubleEgger
    DoubleEgger Posts: 17,174
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  • Botch
    Botch Posts: 15,476
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    _____________

    Remember when teachers used to say 'You won't have a calculator everywhere you go'?  Well, we showed them.


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  • Focker
    Focker Posts: 8,364
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    Bowhunting buddy sent this, special enough to go into the archives for future use.  He sent another link with pic, but can't post it here for multiple reasons, wish I could though.

    Brandon
    Quad Cities
    "If yer gonna denigrate, familiarity with the subject is helpful."

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  • DoubleEgger
    DoubleEgger Posts: 17,174
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  • GATraveller
    GATraveller Posts: 8,207
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    "Social media gives legions of idiots the right to speak when they once only spoke at a bar after a glass of wine, without harming the community [...] but now they have the same right to speak as a Nobel Prize winner. It's the invasion of the idiots."
                                                                                  -Umberto Eco

    2 Large
    Peachtree Corners, GA
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  • DoubleEgger
    DoubleEgger Posts: 17,174
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  • Foghorn
    Foghorn Posts: 9,836
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    DoubleEgger said:
    If my wife sees that I know what I'll get for Christmas.

    XXL BGE, Karebecue, Klose BYC, Chargiller Akorn Kamado, Weber Smokey Mountain, Grand Turbo gasser, Weber Smoky Joe, and the wheelbarrow that my grandfather used to cook steaks from his cattle

    San Antonio, TX

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