Serious question please.

You could freeze it whole with few negative impacts. Reality is most processors freeze slabs before slicing so you would just be matching that. Because your bacon has so much less water the impact on texture would be almost nil 

Jeezus people

can we try to remember what curing is actually for?

you could throw this on your counter for a week and it would still be fine

when did people start thinking things become deadly after a few days in the fridge?

Hope it all works out OK, both the family and the bellies....

@Darby_Crenshaw - when someone else does the curing on machinery that was cleaned years ago, like most commercial bacon. 

In Stike's defense, he is a ninja with technical meat manipulation.  If you know what i mean. Also he has posted more than his share of cooks and charcuterie under other pseudonym(s).

I learned how to learn how to learn how to deal with meat in a large part from his posts.   Being an unrepentant troll came naturally from that process. 

Skiddy, not sure what you mean

bgebrent: thanks for the suggestion. But nah bruh. Posted hundreds of cooks and pics over the years, with artfuly composed pics 'just so' and long detailed explanations of the process. Early adopter of a lot of the bandwagon stuff, enthusiastic helper, belabored sharing of perhaps too much detail or explanation, goer-to of a few fests, meeter of a number of old timer cool people

and i/we often ran into that old guy on the forum who was driving us crazy because he was tired of hearing the same stuff over and over despite the fact the he and *his* old guard had explained things a million times and posted their cooks a million times and they'd still encounter the same questions. Drove the dude crazy. Old man!

Fast forward fifteen years, i'm that guy

it's a conveyor belt, man. There is literally nothing new here. But that's ok. Some day you'll be the cranky old man say obscure sh!t you think everyone already knows because you heard it a thousand times and "dang these meddling kids!"

and i suppose it's now my turn to be the old man grousing about crap and who never posts a cook because, frankly, i don't care what bgebrent (or anyone else) thinks about my cooking ability (and neither should you). I have twenty thousand posts in the other forum if you really wanna learn how i made bacon ten years ago (after nature boy posted it a year before that, or what pepper mill i own (a magnum, ten years ago), or how i affixed my rutland (with high temp silicon, ten years ago, after [i think] photoegg or egginator did it), or any of a hundred other topics, or when i started pimping oil and napkin (after egginator again mentioned it), or if you wanna read my asking WessB to "post a cook, man" (because i was you then, and he was me, see?). [NB: wess is a cooler early forum member who got more grief than he should have, while giving more grief than he should have. Was good times, man. Good times...]

For clarity's sake: i mention twenty thousand posts NOT as any claim to legitimacy or fame or as a credential-girding footnote. I mention it as a shrug, a pathetic reference to the fact that this stuff just keeps rolling along. That sword cuts both ways, btw. For anyone thinking that 20k posts means they are vital or important, remeber that it's also a sign of not having anything better to do.

 I'm not special. There are dudes here with way more time in country. And it doesn't mean they (or I)know more. It just is what it is. 

But the reverse is true. Just because someone doesn't have a lot of posts doesn't give anyone the right to trot out the 'post a cook or shut up' line. Sorry. 

Regardless, time moves on. it's a new crowd's forum. And that's fine. Don't go asking people for credentials. 

i'm also now at the age when that guy next to me at the light is revving to go, and squeals the tires when the light turns green. Been there. Done that. And now it's his turn to be the tuff guy. 

My grumpy reaction was at the end of a long day. Apologies

but at the root of it IS a frustration with the lack of intellectual curiosity and the apparent inability these days of folks to solve their own stuff. And it ain't THIS guy either. It ain't about his bacon question. 

But part of me wonders how far we have gotten from our food that we don't understand the basics

[a correction: you couldn't simply throw he meat on the counter and it'd be 'fine'.  You'd wanna hang it so it could dry fairly quicky on the surface. The wet counter-side would be bad for quality. The top side would dry, but the bottom would be wet and perhaps grow some bacteria. Tie it though, touching nothing but itself, and hang, and she'd form a quick pellicle and be safe to eat as long as you had the courage to let it hang in your basement. That's WHY we cured. No one cured pork originally because they liked ham. They ended up with ham because they had slaughtered a multi hundred pound animal and needed to store their meat. Same for all charcuterie.]


TL/DR: blah blah ramblings of a cranky old man. Mostly in jest, btw. But as we have not met, i do not get the benefit of the "i know this guy" default tone of voice afforded others. That's the way of the (or perhaps of any) forum

EDIT: tried fixing the phone spelling issues. Gave up after a half hour. Dang iPhones! When i was a kid your blackberry had actual buttons and a keyboard as big as a damn buick dashboard. Why, you kids and your fancy google glasses and your snapface with the talk-into-it automatic microphone spelling! I just may go down to the community room fot the intrduction to AOL class my senior center is having.  It's also cinnamon applesauce night in the dining room. Need to get a good seat. They're showing Matlock on the big screen during dinner at 4:30. 

EDIT2: unrelated topic for discussion; Meatloaf is pate'. You like meatloaf, and so whether you know it or not, you also like pate'. It's probably, being a red blooded american man, you just think the name sounds fey, and that french crap can (for we insular 'murican types) seem simultaneously intimidating and wimpy. 

Darby_Crenshaw said:

Skiddy, not sure what you mean

bgebrent: thanks for the suggestion. But nah bruh. Posted hundreds of cooks and pics over the years, with artfuly composed pics 'just so' and long detailed explanations of the process. Early adopter of a lot of the bandwagon stuff, enthusiastic helper, belabored sharing of perhaps too much detail or explanation, goer-to of a few fests, meeter of a number of old timer cool people

and i/we often ran into that old guy on the forum who was driving us crazy because he was tired of hearing the same stuff over and over despite the fact the he and *his* old guard had explained things a million times and posted their cooks a million times and they'd still encounter the same questions. Drove the dude crazy. Old man!

cast forward fifteen years, i'm that guy

it's a conveyor belt, man. There is literally nothing new here. But that's ok. Some day you'll be the cranky old man say obscure sh!t you think everyone already knows because you heard it a thousand times and "dang these meddling kids!"

and i suppose it's now my turn to be the old man grousing about crap and who never posts a cook because, frankly, i don't care what bgebrent (or anyone else) thinks about my cooking ability (and neither should you).  i have twenty thousand posts in the other forum if you really wanna learn how i made bacon ten years ago (after nature boy posted it a year before that, or what pepper mill i own (a magnum, ten years ago), or how i affixed my rutland (with high temp silicon, ten years ago, after [i think] photoegg or egginator did it), or any of a hundred other topics, or when i started pimping oil and napkin (after egginator again mentioned it), or if you wanna read my asking WessB to "post a cook, man" (because i was you then, and he was me, see?). [NB: wess is a cooler early forum member who got more grief than he should have, while giving more grief than he should have. Was good times, man. Good times...]

For clarity's sake: i mention twenty thiusand posts NOT as oany claim to legitimacy or fame or as a credential-girding footnote. I mention it as a shrug, a pathetic reference to the fact that this stuff just keeps rolling along. I'm not special. There are dudes here with way more time in country. And it doesn't mean they (or I)know more. It just is what it is. 

But the reverse is true. Just because someone doesn't have a lot of posts doesn't give anyone the right to trot out the 'post a cook or shut up' line. Sorry. 

Regardless, time moves on. it's a new crowd's forum. And that's fine. Don't go asking people for credentials. 

i'm also now at the age when that guy next to me at the light is revving to go, and squeals the tires when the light turns green. Been there. Done that. And now it's his turn to be the tuff guy. 

My grumpy reaction was at the end of a long day. Apologies

but at the root of it IS a frustration with the lack of intellectual curiosity and the apparent inability these days of folks to solve their own stuff. And it ain't THIS guy either. It ain't about his bacon question. 

But part of me wonders how far we have gotten from our food that we don't understand the basics

[a correction: you couldn't simply throw he meat on the counter and it'd be 'fine'.  You'd wanna hang it so it could dry fairly quicky on the surface. The wet counter-side would be bad for quality. Too would dry, bottom would be wet and perhaps grow some bacteria. Tie it though, touching nothing but itself, and hang, and she'd form a quick pellicle and be safe to eat as long as you had the courage to let it hang in your basement. That's WHY we cured. No one cured pork originally because they liked ham. They ended up with ham because they had slaughtered a multi hundred pound animal and needed to store their meat. ]


TL/DR: blah blah ramblings of a cranky old man. Mostly in jest, btw. But as we have not met, i do not get the benefit of the "i know this guy" default tone of voice afforded others. That's the way of the (or perhaps of any) forum

EDIT: tried fixing the phone spelling issues. Gave up after a half hour. Dang iPhones! When i was a kid your blackberry had actual buttons and a keyboard as big as a damn buick dashboard. Why, you kids and your fancy google glasses and your snapface with the talk-into-it automatic microphone spelling! I just may go down to the community room fot the intrduction to AOL class my senior center is having.  It's also cinnamon applesauce night in the dining room. Need to get a good seat. They're showing Matlock on the big screen during dinner at 4:30. 

always with the long posts   you could have just shown a pic.  heres some @darby_crenshaw cured duck just simply hanging in my kitchen

Fish, I was finding that no one liked the short answers. But apparently the detailed and long answers are too long.

i need to find the goldie locks post-length.

[never have, fwiw, found the right answer length. The people who SHOULD read the long detailed answers never do. And the people who appreciate the short answers usually understand the topic at hand to begin with. Those in the middle? They never weigh in]

nice duck boob btw. Wild? Fwiw, once a month MB tosses the fresh duck breast into the freezer as it approaches "sell by" date. Got five for three bucks each. Good stuff. Wife wants prosciutto. I better get onnit

Darby_Crenshaw said:

Fish, I was finding that no one liked the short answers. But apparently the detailed and long answers are too long.

i need to find the goldie locks post-length.

[never have, fwiw, found the right answer length. The people who SHOULD read the long detailed answers never do. And the people who appreciate the short answers usually understand the topic at hand to begin with. Those in the middle? They never weigh in]

nice duck boob btw. Wild? Fwiw, once a month MB tosses the fresh duck breast into the freezer as it approaches "sell by" date. Got five for three bucks each. Good stuff. Wife wants prosciutto. I better get onnit

the first blurt  "Jeezus people"  says what needed to be said. sometimes the WTH approach will make someone listen AND learn. it also pisses some off but so what, its better than seeing the opp get nervous and toss out perfectly good bacon and he will remember next time.  problem with saying too much is the boston language comes out as boston diatribe, belittling and angry, though its not the intent, it comes out that way down south and out to the west, not much can be done about this perception   they are just gonna have to get over it. being in maine now so much im sounding more like a maniac anyways, everyone likes maniacs

fish, re: " problem with saying too much is the boston language comes out as boston diatribe, belittling and angry, though its not the intent, it comes out that way down south and out to the west, not much can be done about this perception"

this is true. the other thing is something one can only learn by going to eggfests or meeting other people in person (or on the phone i suppose), and something i had to learn myself:  the people here who 'know' each other can joke and be ironic or sarcastic, and everyone (who has met them) "gets it".

but if they haven't met you (or you them), you are automatically an ass, and belligerent, even when you are not really being that way.

i have given up trying to make sure people get that i'm joking or being a sarcastic yankee.

i had a girlfriend once that met my family for the first time on christmas eve, for dinner at my aunt's house.  she was standing in line for the food (buffet kinda family thing) and my brother, who she just met, was right behind her.  he said "hey, can you hurry up.  Jessica (my previous girlfirend) never took this long" and started laughing

my girlfriend burst into tears.

i was trying to tell her "no, that's good.  he was giving you grief.  he LIKES you.  he never talked to Jessica..." 

the new england thing, no one gets unless they are yankees.  we don't talk to you unless we like you.  that's how you know.  down south, it's the opposite.  everyone is friendlier than hell. talk to you right away ...but i am pretty sure they don't like me. hahahaha

Totally thought that was a lady product...

fishlessman said:

Darby_Crenshaw said:

fish, re: " problem with saying too much is the boston language comes out as boston diatribe, belittling and angry, though its not the intent, it comes out that way down south and out to the west, not much can be done about this perception"

this is true. the other thing is something one can only learn by going to eggfests or meeting other people in person (or on the phone i suppose), and something i had to learn myself:  the people here who 'know' each other can joke and be ironic or sarcastic, and everyone (who has met them) "gets it".

but if they haven't met you (or you them), you are automatically an ass, and belligerent, even when you are not really being that way.

i have given up trying to make sure people get that i'm joking or being a sarcastic yankee.

i had a girlfriend once that met my family for the first time on christmas eve, for dinner at my aunt's house.  she was standing in line for the food (buffet kinda family thing) and my brother, who she just met, was right behind her.  he said "hey, can you hurry up.  Jessica (my previous girlfirend) never took this long" and started laughing

my girlfriend burst into tears.

i was trying to tell her "no, that's good.  he was giving you grief.  he LIKES you.  he never talked to Jessica..." 

the new england thing, no one gets unless they are yankees.  we don't talk to you unless we like you.  that's how you know.  down south, it's the opposite.  everyone is friendlier than hell. talk to you right away ...but i am pretty sure they don't like me. hahahaha

if your not from here you would never get it out on the lake i know maybe 50 fishermen, what boats they use, what areas they fish, what they fish for, what lures they use, atmost you nod or get a nod, never talked to them, the ones that are not friends do not nod

That's sad.   

what's sadder is a bunch of people smiling and welcoming you and acting all friendly, while they are thinking something else entirely different.

lots of folks are nice on the outside, while quite the opposite on the inside.

Darby_Crenshaw said:

what's sadder is a bunch of people smiling and welcoming you and acting all friendly, while they are thinking something else entirely different.

lots of folks are nice on the outside, while quite the opposite on the inside.

are you talking about the french honestly though, california is about the rudest place ive ever been, everyones your "best friend".  whats with that

Darby_Crenshaw said:

fish, re: " problem with saying too much is the boston language comes out as boston diatribe, belittling and angry, though its not the intent, it comes out that way down south and out to the west, not much can be done about this perception"

this is true. the other thing is something one can only learn by going to eggfests or meeting other people in person (or on the phone i suppose), and something i had to learn myself:  the people here who 'know' each other can joke and be ironic or sarcastic, and everyone (who has met them) "gets it".

but if they haven't met you (or you them), you are automatically an ass, and belligerent, even when you are not really being that way.

i have given up trying to make sure people get that i'm joking or being a sarcastic yankee.

i had a girlfriend once that met my family for the first time on christmas eve, for dinner at my aunt's house.  she was standing in line for the food (buffet kinda family thing) and my brother, who she just met, was right behind her.  he said "hey, can you hurry up.  Jessica (my previous girlfirend) never took this long" and started laughing

my girlfriend burst into tears.

i was trying to tell her "no, that's good.  he was giving you grief.  he LIKES you.  he never talked to Jessica..." 

the new england thing, no one gets unless they are yankees.  we don't talk to you unless we like you.  that's how you know.  down south, it's the opposite.  everyone is friendlier than hell. talk to you right away ...but i am pretty sure they don't like me. hahahaha

I feel that people in the New England are are a lot friendly then people from New York City.  The only people that will talk to you in New York are people who are not from there or the police from what I remember.  A few years back my wife and I went to my nieces wedding in the Boston area and most people we were around seem friendly to me, but yes most the time in the south people are friendly.  I also feel here in the midwest for the most part people are friendly and are welling help when ever they can.  I guess this thread has taken another turn.

buzd504 said:

Darby_Crenshaw said:

fish, re: " problem with saying too much is the boston language comes out as boston diatribe, belittling and angry, though its not the intent, it comes out that way down south and out to the west, not much can be done about this perception"

this is true. the other thing is something one can only learn by going to eggfests or meeting other people in person (or on the phone i suppose), and something i had to learn myself:  the people here who 'know' each other can joke and be ironic or sarcastic, and everyone (who has met them) "gets it".

but if they haven't met you (or you them), you are automatically an ass, and belligerent, even when you are not really being that way.

i have given up trying to make sure people get that i'm joking or being a sarcastic yankee.

i had a girlfriend once that met my family for the first time on christmas eve, for dinner at my aunt's house.  she was standing in line for the food (buffet kinda family thing) and my brother, who she just met, was right behind her.  he said "hey, can you hurry up.  Jessica (my previous girlfirend) never took this long" and started laughing

my girlfriend burst into tears.

i was trying to tell her "no, that's good.  he was giving you grief.  he LIKES you.  he never talked to Jessica..." 

the new england thing, no one gets unless they are yankees.  we don't talk to you unless we like you.  that's how you know.  down south, it's the opposite.  everyone is friendlier than hell. talk to you right away ...but i am pretty sure they don't like me. hahahaha

Wait, you're a YANKEE??

new england, boston, yankee. the worst kind. dont go confusing us with the wannabe north east yankees south of boston