OT - Handling Finances As A Couple

DoubleEgger said:

I'd like to be a fly on the wall when you start this conversation. "Hey baby, me and the guys at the BBQ forum think we should sit down and talk about your spending habits." 

My wife if I said something like that..,

Also more than anything congrats to you both
@oldgeezeystax and @McStew!

Griffin said:

With marriage, you are all in. On everything. Finances included. Just MHO.

I agree 100%. We have a friend that was married and they took the separate account route. Every month she had to beg for his half of the mortgage on their house.  Blew me away! 

cazzy said:

Tell her you closed your personal account, but don't.  Then, got to your HR dept and set up a second deposit that sends X dollars to your personal account.  This will allow you to buy all the toys you want, without her ever knowing.     You can just sneak them in like she does her shoes and dresses.

If she ever finds out, tell her it was my idea.  

Annnnd if the relationship goes sour, he'll have funds to pay for a lawyer.  

I like they are  using the term  BUDGET as well.  That term has always confused me.   :-)     You newlyweds,  go heavy in 401K's/Roths    you're young  & you'll thank yourselves  when you're old  & auditioning for little blue pill  commercials  :-)  Speaking of that  If your honeymoon spot has two  clawfoot bathtubs on a beach,  run!

DMW said:

cazzy said:

Tell her you closed your personal account, but don't.  Then, got to your HR dept and set up a second deposit that sends X dollars to your personal account.  This will allow you to buy all the toys you want, without her ever knowing.     You can just sneak them in like she does her shoes and dresses.

If she ever finds out, tell her it was my idea.  

While you are at it, lie to her about where you go after work. I hear that works out well. 

No, you're in sales so you should know this Dwayne.  Under promise and over deliver!!!

I work till 9pm every day babe...they are ****!!  If you show up at 6pm...you just got off early!    

cazzy said:

Just suit up and everything will work out!  

And I'm suited up right now.

Actually, what you do with your day to day money can become irrelevant if you PAY YOURSELF FIRST AND DON'T TOUCH IT.  You can adapt up to any level of income and spending - I'm pretty sure that if someone gave me and my wife the opportunity to spend $1,000,000/month we could do it.  But ultimately, if you put money away BEFORE YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO SPEND IT, don't touch it under any circumstances, and invest it reasonably - then it won't matter whether you put too much on your credit cards over the years, or spend too much on cars, or grills, or clothes.   Your budget is "We made it work without touching the money we put away for the future."

Many financial advisors recommend using any money you have to pay off high interest credit cards before putting money away into accounts/investments that will likely yield less interest/return than you are paying on the credit card debt.  That makes sense from a mathematic perspective, but doesn't actually work from a human nature perspective.  98% of humans (an estimate) will either never actually get the credit cards paid off or will pay them off and then run them up again such that they never actually start puttting money away... ever.

But if you pay yourself first, the day-to-day stuff becomes trivial.  Knowing this actually makes handling the relationship finances much easier because there is not as much at stake. 

I learned this from a book called "The Wealthy Barber" and it has served us well over the years (21 years of marriage and counting). 

Almost 17 yrs of marriage and being married to a woman that is a financial analyst (and analytical by nature) is huge. She handles our finances and in the almost 20 yrs we've been together our beacon score has only seen one direction and that is up.  That most certainly doesn't mean we don't spend but, we don't live beyond our means.  We have common goals fiscally and other life goals.  We'll achieve them TOGETHER. If you can't trust your spouse with financial honesty how in the world can you trust them in other areas. 

NPHuskerFL said:

Almost 17 yrs of marriage and being married to a woman that is a financial analyst (and analytical by nature) is huge. She handles our finances and in the almost 20 yrs we've been together our beacon score has only seen one direction and that is up.  That most certainly doesn't mean we don't spend but, we don't live beyond our means.  We have common goals fiscally and other life goals.  We'll achieve them TOGETHER. If you can't trust your spouse with financial honesty how in the world can you trust them in other areas. 

5 years married.  Several hidden accounts.  Lie to her every day.  No common goals.  Zero financial know how. Take all her bonus checks.  Make her carry all my babies.  Irons my clothes when I go see my girlfriends.

Happiness I tell ya...happiness.

Another long timer report! We will celebrate our 49th anniversary this August. Everything has always been held jointly. We graduated from college in1966 flat *ss broke. She starting teaching and I went into public accounting. She taught high school for 37 years and retired. My career was mostly in banking and I retired at age 60. That was 10 years ago and we love retirement and joint accounts. What's hers is mine and vise versa.