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FAIL. I mean FUBAR fail.

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Jeremiah
Jeremiah Posts: 6,412
in EggHead Forum
No excuses. I just suck. Been craving some pork spare ribs for weeks. Decided today was it, and being as how I was only doing one rack,
I'd experiment with the minimax.

And that's where the train came off the tracks. Still using just the bge platesetter, (no woo YET), I laid the two halves side by side. Temp wanted to creep to 300 so I left it there. After 2 hrs I noticed they were beginning to char. So I rotated so that the char would be in the middle. Another hour went by, and checked them again. Black. ****. So I foiled (with butter and honey) and shut the bottom vent completely. Another hour, checked again. This is what they looked like. ****. I'm pissed. image
Slumming it in Aiken, SC. 
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  • jcaspary
    jcaspary Posts: 1,479
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    Sorry to see the fail. As long as you learned it won't be a total waste.
    XL BGE, LG BGE, and a hunger to grill everything in sight!!!
    Joe- Strongsville, OH
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  • Legume
    Legume Posts: 14,615
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    Calibration? How were they on the inside?
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  • Tinyfish
    Tinyfish Posts: 1,755
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    Is it your rub or glaze that charred. Maybe you can debone and pull the meat.
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  • cazzy
    cazzy Posts: 9,136
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    How do they taste? Throw some sauce on them...might not be a total loss. Could just be the sugar and might not taste burnt. I recently did a butt that had sugar in the rub. I started hotter than normal and it looked very black, but didn't taste burnt at all
    Just a hack that makes some $hitty BBQ....
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  • lousubcap
    lousubcap Posts: 32,337
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    @Jeremiah-I enjoy burnt toast...That said, "If looks could kill, I'd be dead."  Taste-wise there has got to be some redeeming value here  Regardless, full marks for fronting up with the cook.  I do think you are too hard on yourself...
    Louisville; Rolling smoke in the neighbourhood. # 38 for the win.  Life is too short for light/lite beer!  Seems I'm livin in a transitional period.
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  • DMW
    DMW Posts: 13,832
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    Yeah, give them a try. I finished some ribs last weekend at high temp to push to the finish. The rub apparently had a decent amount of sugar and they were pretty much black on the outside. They actually were really good.
    They/Them
    Morgantown, PA

    XL BGE - S BGE - KJ Jr - HB Legacy - BS Pizza Oven - 30" Firepit - King Kooker Fryer -  PR72T - WSJ - BS 17" Griddle - XXL BGE  - BS SS36" Griddle - 2 Burner Gasser - Pellet Smoker
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  • Jeremiah
    Jeremiah Posts: 6,412
    edited January 2015
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    No they're shot. The middles of them were maybe edible, but I was too pissed to attempt a salvage job.

    I'm trying to figure out what went wrong. I'm gonna calibrate the some thermo tomorrow, haven't done it yet. Second, I think the bge platesetter legs are way too short. I'm gonna have to pony up the money for a woo.
    Slumming it in Aiken, SC. 
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  • Ozzie_Isaac
    Ozzie_Isaac Posts: 19,042
    edited January 2015
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    Man even at 300 I wouldn't expect that amount of char! That looks a lot like a direct burn or way more than 300deg. Sugar is usually good to 325 or so indirect on long smokes.

    Sorry that happened. Thats no fun :(
    A bison’s level of aggressiveness, both physical and passive, is legendary. - NPS
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  • Gogogordy
    Gogogordy Posts: 460
    edited January 2015
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    As much as I hate to admit it worldwide, I would eat those. Theres beauty under that bark.....maybe just a little but Id go looking for it!
    When I'm not Eggin', I'm scootin'   Eggin' and 'cueing from Temecula Ca; an hour from San Diego, an hour and five minutes from Palm Springs, and an hour and a half from Los Angeles (yeah, right. With THAT traffic?)
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  • tcracing
    tcracing Posts: 378
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    Must be something in the air, because mine did the same thing. Entirely to much char. First time no clue, and I cooked mine at 250°.
    George Foreman? Who? 
    Tim C. Panama City, Fl. 
    Large, Minimax-soon
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  • SGH
    SGH Posts: 28,791
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    Brother Miah, sorry to hear that they didn't turn out to your liking. On a separate note, I would eat them, char and all. Char is not one of my favorites, but I would still eat them for sure.

    Location- Just "this side" of Biloxi, Ms.

    Status- Standing by.

    The greatest barrier against all wisdom, the stronghold against knowledge itself, is the single thought, in ones mind, that they already have it all figured out. 

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  • mitch2264
    mitch2264 Posts: 73
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    I would have eaten them, and declared them good!  :)
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  • SkinnyV
    SkinnyV Posts: 3,404
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    You think the grid is too close to the plate setter?
    The mini woo and stone are close to the grid also and I haven't seen this char on low cooks.... :-?

    Btw are you going woo only or woo and stone when you buy it.
    Seattle, WA
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  • Jeepster47
    Jeepster47 Posts: 3,827
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    Jeremiah said:
    No excuses. I just suck. ...
    Not true ... I've seen some fantastic cooks come off your eggs.  And, the fact that you shared this cook speaks volumes.  Now, what do you think went wrong?  Any idea?

    Washington, IL  >  Queen Creek, AZ ... Two large eggs and an adopted Mini Max

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  • grege345
    grege345 Posts: 3,515
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    Pic turned out pretty good
    LBGE& SBGE———————————————•———————– Pennsylvania / poconos

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  • Jeremiah
    Jeremiah Posts: 6,412
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    @SkinnyV‌ just the woo. I believe I need to gain the distance. Something's gotta give though, this sucked.
    Slumming it in Aiken, SC. 
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  • Jeremiah
    Jeremiah Posts: 6,412
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    Thanks @Jeepster47‌ I have a few thoughts. Wish I could blame it on the booze, but crap. Sober as a minister all day.
    Slumming it in Aiken, SC. 
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  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 30,945
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    Miah the ones I did on my MM last weekend were more burned than I like, and that was at 250 dome. I had some sugar in the sauce so that was part of it, but it's just really easy to toast ribs in my experience. In general I think as soon as it starts you just want to back way off the temp if you can, and even that doesn't always do it.
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike
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  • DMW
    DMW Posts: 13,832
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    Thanks @Jeepster47‌ I have a few thoughts. Wish I could blame it on the booze, but crap. Sober as a minister all day.
    So you're drunk as a skunk?
    They/Them
    Morgantown, PA

    XL BGE - S BGE - KJ Jr - HB Legacy - BS Pizza Oven - 30" Firepit - King Kooker Fryer -  PR72T - WSJ - BS 17" Griddle - XXL BGE  - BS SS36" Griddle - 2 Burner Gasser - Pellet Smoker
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  • SkinnyV
    SkinnyV Posts: 3,404
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    Temp too high or were flames coming around the plate setter. Could your fire have been unnecessarily high up? Who knows.
    I am storing my minimax until I get the platesetter at the least may get the woo also , the grid sits at felt height and I can insert those terracotta feet to raise the grid....but still may get the woo as its cheap enough.
    Seattle, WA
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  • fsumble
    fsumble Posts: 9
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    I am baffled as well.  I cooked baby back ribs on my mini max indirect soon after I got it.  I rolled it up and held it in a circle shape with skewers.  I skipped the step of tenting with foil and apple juice, so I had low expectations.  The ribs were great.

    Today I cooked 4 chicken thighs.  I cooked them direct with dome temp of 250 degrees for about 1.5 hours.  I turned them once at half time.  Even though there was very little space between the meat and the charcoal, the skin ended up perfect.  I came to the conclusion that cooking on the mini max works whether direct or indirect in spite of the lack of distance between the meat and the fire because it takes so little heat to keep the dome at 275 degrees, that the charcoal is not glowing red like they do in a much larger dome.

    I also cooked two turkey breasts wrapped in bacon.  Cooked direct at 300 degrees.  It was done in about 2 hours, and the bacon came out cooked perfect.

    I think you are looking in the right direction with dome thermometer caliberation!
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  • Jeremiah
    Jeremiah Posts: 6,412
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    @JohnInCarolina‌ I was hoping you'd chime in, as I blame you for this mess. Your post the other day looked so good I had to do it too. It's funny though, I've always struggled to get a char in the large. Now I've got hockey pucks in the trash. :-q
    Slumming it in Aiken, SC. 
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  • mitch2264
    mitch2264 Posts: 73
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    Jeremiah said:
    Thanks @Jeepster47‌ I have a few thoughts. Wish I could blame it on the booze, but crap. Sober as a minister all day.
    Well, there is the problem!  My Eggs do not light unless I am holding a beverage.

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  • SkinnyV
    SkinnyV Posts: 3,404
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    Btw that mini max is heavy. Ive carried it around today and while I am carrying it not bad but after the fact I feel it on my back.

    I'm confused as to how I carry 45lb dumbbells around for some workout stuff no problem but this is a bit tougher. :-?
    Seattle, WA
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  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 30,945
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    Jeremiah said:

    @JohnInCarolina‌ I was hoping you'd chime in, as I blame you for this mess. Your post the other day looked so good I had to do it too. It's funny though, I've always struggled to get a char in the large. Now I've got hockey pucks in the trash. :-q

    You know I'd thought is blown it when I took those ribs off - a good half of them looked too burned to me. But they turned out to be the best I've done. I wish I could tell you the secret to great ribs, but the truth is they are constantly humbling me. Live and learn man!

    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike
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  • Jeremiah
    Jeremiah Posts: 6,412
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    It's heavy. Especially loaded with the platesetter and lump. I can do it cold but hot it needs two people. And yeah my back is wrecked too.
    Slumming it in Aiken, SC. 
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  • Zmokin
    Zmokin Posts: 1,938
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    Jeremiah said:
    Thanks @Jeepster47‌ I have a few thoughts. Wish I could blame it on the booze, but crap. Sober as a minister all day.
    There's the problem.  If you woulda been sauced, you woulda scarfed em and declared them delicious. :))
    Large BGE in a Sole' Gourmet Table
    Using the Black Cast Iron grill, Plate Setter,
     and a BBQ Guru temp controller.

    Medium BGE in custom modified off-road nest.
    Black Cast Iron grill, Plate Setter, and a Party-Q temp controller.

    Location: somewhere West of the Mason-Dixon Line
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  • Jeremiah
    Jeremiah Posts: 6,412
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    Zmokin said:


    Jeremiah said:

    Thanks @Jeepster47‌ I have a few thoughts. Wish I could blame it on the booze, but crap. Sober as a minister all day.

    There's the problem.  If you woulda been sauced, you woulda scarfed em and declared them delicious. :))


    I secretly believe this is how the Waffle House stays in business.
    Slumming it in Aiken, SC. 
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  • Jeepster47
    Jeepster47 Posts: 3,827
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    Now wait a minute guys.  "Sober as a minister all day" could mean different things to different ministers ...

    Washington, IL  >  Queen Creek, AZ ... Two large eggs and an adopted Mini Max

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  • Jeremiah
    Jeremiah Posts: 6,412
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    Just checked the some thermos. The minimax was about 15 degrees off. I believe that coupled with the short legs on the platesetter did it. image
    The second pic is post-calibration. image
    Slumming it in Aiken, SC. 
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