We've been insulted.

Little Steven · November 2012

Anyone gonna do Dostoyevsky or James Joyce now?

nolaegghead · November 2012

Dunno about them. To hard. Maybe some T.S. Elliot's Love song of J Alfred Prufrock

LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a brisket etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-burned lumps,
The muttering thumps
Of restless nights keeping lump alight
And sawdust smokers with acrid fumes:
The stall that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question….
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
When it's done it's done, then we visit.

In the room the women come and go narry
Talking, of Guy Fieri.

Little Steven · November 2012

Mr Leopold Bloom ate with mustard and relish the egged inner organs of beasts and fowls. He liked thick giblet soup, nutty gizzards over mesqite lump, a stuffed roast heart, liverslices egg grilled with crustcrumbs, hencods' roes en papillote. Most of all he liked low and slow mutton kidneys which gave to his palate a fine tang of faintly scented urine and applewood.

Kidneys were in his mind as he moved about the egg softly, righting her breakfast things on the humpy tray. Gelid light and air were not in the kitchen but out of doors gentle summer morning everywhere. Smoke from the egg made him feel a bit peckish.

The coals were reddening.

Another slice of grilled bread and butter: three, four: right. She didn't like her plate full. Right. He turned from the tray, lifted the kettle off the egg and set it sideways on the fire. It sat there, dull and squat, its spout stuck out of the dome. Cup of tea soon. Good. Mouth dry.

With apologies to James Joyce

brianwdmn · November 2012

At last, a thread to which I relate, and, the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, and I have many promises to keep, and miles to go before I pull pork.

Eggcelsior · November 2012

"Come, Egg’s compliments to ye; come and see if ye can serve me. Serve me? ye cannot serve me, else ye serve yourselves! man has ye there. Serve me? The path to my adjustable rig is laid with iron grate, whereon my steak is grooved to sear. Over unsounded flames , through the rifled wisps of smoke , under torrents’ beds of coals, unerringly I sear! Naught’s an obstacle, naught’s an greater force to the cast iron way!"

- Moby Dick, Herman Eggville

Doc_Eggerton · November 2012

Eggcelsior said:

"Come, Egg’s compliments to ye; come and see if ye can serve me. Serve me? ye cannot serve me, else ye serve yourselves! man has ye there. Serve me? The path to my adjustable rig is laid with iron grate, whereon my steak is grooved to sear. Over unsounded flames , through the rifled wisps of smoke , under torrents’ beds of coals, unerringly I sear! Naught’s an obstacle, naught’s an greater force to the cast iron way!" - Moby Dick, Herman Eggville

++++

Fred19Flintstone · November 2012

Every Who down in Who-ville liked Christmas a lot...

But the Grinch, who lived north of Who-ville did not!

The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be his dome wasn't screwed on just right. It could be, perhaps, that his Egg wouldn't light. But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that his lump was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, the lump, dome or what, he stood there on Christmas Eve with a cold raw pork butt. Staring down from his cave with a sour Grinchy frown at the warm lighted Eggs below in the town. For he knew every Who down in Who-ville below was busy now, Egging happily in the snow.

He wasn't just smart, he was a doctor! Thanks Dr. Suess!

Doc_Eggerton · November 2012

Guys, Eggcelsior and I talked about cut and pasting these into a separate string in OT that might have a life longer than my OP. How's that sound?

Eggcelsior, who started this, suggested calling it Literary Eggscursions.

td66snrf · November 2012

Father forgive them for they do not know.

Doc_Eggerton · November 2012

Fred19Flintstone said:

Every Who down in Who-ville liked Christmas a lot...
But the Grinch, who lived north of Who-ville did not!
The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be his dome wasn't screwed on just right. It could be, perhaps, that his Egg wouldn't light. But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that his lump was two sizes too small.
But, whatever the reason, the lump, dome or what, he stood there on Christmas Eve with a cold raw pork butt. Staring down from his cave with a sour Grinchy frown at the warm lighted Eggs below in the town. For he knew every Who down in Who-ville below was busy now, Egging happily in the snow.
He wasn't just smart, he was a doctor! Thanks Dr. Suess!

Wow, just wow.

FanOfFanboys · November 2012

Best thread ever? I think so.

SmokinDAWG82 · November 2012

Love the way these things Morph as they go, or as we drink into the dark of night

Eggcelsior · November 2012

"You're an egghead. You've lost touch with reality . You get precious. Cen-Tex's cooks have ruined you. You drink yourself to death. You become obsessed by" clear smoke". You spend all your time egging, not working. You are an egghead , see. You hang around forums."

- The Egg Also Rises, Ernest Eggingway

Fred19Flintstone · November 2012

Doc_Eggerton said:

Fred19Flintstone said:

Every Who down in Who-ville liked Christmas a lot...
But the Grinch, who lived north of Who-ville did not!
The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be his dome wasn't screwed on just right. It could be, perhaps, that his Egg wouldn't light. But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that his lump was two sizes too small.
But, whatever the reason, the lump, dome or what, he stood there on Christmas Eve with a cold raw pork butt. Staring down from his cave with a sour Grinchy frown at the warm lighted Eggs below in the town. For he knew every Who down in Who-ville below was busy now, Egging happily in the snow.
He wasn't just smart, he was a doctor! Thanks Dr. Suess!

Wow, just wow.

Thanks Doc. I enjoyed your wordsmithing today too!

Austin Egghead · November 2012

Apologies to Lewis Carrol

“But I don’t want to go among egging people," Alice remarked.

"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all eggers here. I’m an egger. You’re egger."

"How do you know I’m egger?" said Alice.

"You must be an egger," said the Cat, or you wouldn’t have come here.”

Cheshire Cat to Alice

Eggcelsior · November 2012

“Egging is one of the greatest human gifts. But all too often a search for the perfect brisket temp drives out the search for the perfect meat... Egging without the ability to wait for "no resistance" and pulling early leads to mental and moral breakdown, to tough meat, and possibly even psychosis. Then, a gasser. ”

― Egging for Algeron, Daniel Keyes

Eggcelsior · November 2012

“Gassers are alright, I guess — but it doesn't appeal to me", I said. "I mean they're alright if they go around cooking burgers and dogs all the time, and like that, but you don't do that kind of stuff if you're a egger. All you do is make a lot of dough and roll out pizzas and wok shrimp and buy wood chunks and drink Martinis and look like a hot-shot. And besides, even if you did go around grilling burgers and dogs, how would you know if you did it because you really wanted to save time, or because you did it because what you really wanted to do was be a terrific egger, with everybody slapping you on the back and congratulating you in the forum when the goddam post was over, the members and everybody, the way it is at the Eggfest? How would you know you weren't being jealous? The trouble is you wouldn't. Just get the egg. ”
― B.G.E. Salinger, The Egger in the Rye

FanOfFanboys · November 2012

Eggcelsior said:

“Gassers are alright, I guess — but it doesn't appeal to me", I said. "I mean they're alright if they go around cooking burgers and dogs all the time, and like that, but you don't do that kind of stuff if you're a egger. All you do is make a lot of dough and roll out pizzas and wok shrimp and buy wood chunks and drink Martinis and look like a hot-shot. And besides, even if you did go around grilling burgers and dogs, how would you know if you did it because you really wanted to save time, or because you did it because what you really wanted to do was be a terrific egger, with everybody slapping you on the back and congratulating you in the forum when the goddam post was over, the members and everybody, the way it is at the Eggfest? How would you know you weren't being jealous? The trouble is you wouldn't. Just get the egg. ” ― B.G.E. Salinger, The Egger in the Rye

so this book is one of my all time favorite. Def my fav post so far. If you and I ever meet your first drink is on me. Awesome.

Village Idiot · November 2012

If you can talk with trolls and keep your virtue

Or walk with Doc --- nor lose the common touch

If neither burns nor massive flame ups can hurt you

If all Eggs count with you, but none too much

If you can fill the unforgiving grid space

With sixty pounds of hamburger and bun

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And--what is more--- you'll be an Egger, my son.

Apologies to Rudyard Kipling

Doc_Eggerton · November 2012

Village Idiot said:

If you can talk with trolls and keep your virtue
Or walk with Doc --- nor lose the common touch
If neither burns nor massive flame ups can hurt you
If all Eggs count with you, but none too much
If you can fill the unforgiving grid space
With sixty pounds of hamburger and bun
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--what is more--- you'll be an Egger, my son.

Apologies to Rudyard Kipling

Hoooah!

travisstrick · November 2012

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be the plate setter that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.”

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Egg

Doc_Eggerton · November 2012

Very good travis....lot of good material there for future posts......

Doc_Eggerton · November 2012

We cringed in the shadows, having fled in terror, but VI remained, and even strode forward defiantly to seize the dome handle.

"You cannot flash! I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Royal Oak. The dark fire will not avail you, Flame of XL! Go back to the shadow. You shall not flash!"

An behold, he raised the dome, and no flames licked at his arms.

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Egg

travisstrick · November 2012

“Gassers knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes an egger.”

Arthur Conan Doyle, The Valley of the egg.

Eggcelsior · November 2012

One Egg to smoke them all, One Egg to grill them, One Egg to cook them all and in my stomach bind them.

J. R. R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Egg,

Austin Egghead · November 2012

This has been on of the most enjoyable posts to date.

SmokinDAWG82 · November 2012

See Egg
See Egg Smoke
Smoke Egg Smoke
MMMMMMMMM!

Village Idiot · November 2012

I think Dawg just jumped the shark. :))

Eggcelsior · November 2012

Women desire six things: They want their husbands to be brave, wise, rich, generous, obedient to wife, and lively on the egg.

EGGrey Chaucer

Doc_Eggerton · November 2012

"What's to-day?" cried Scrooge, calling downward to a boy in Sunday clothes, who perhaps had loitered in to look about him.

"Eh?" returned the boy, with all his might of wonder.

"What's to-day, my fine fellow?" said Scrooge.

"To-day?" replied the boy. "Why, Christmas Day."

"It's Christmas Day!" said Scrooge to himself. "I haven 't missed it. The Spirits have done it all in one night. They can do anything they like. Of course they can. Of course they can. Hallo, my fine fellow!"

"Hallo!" returned the boy

"Do you know the Barbeque Store, in the next street but one, at the corner?" Scrooge inquired.

"I should hope I did," replied the lad.

"An intelligent boy!" said Scrooge. "A remarkable boy! Do you know whether they've sold the Extra Large Big Green Egg that was standing inside? Not the Mini, Small, Medium or Large; but the Extra Large one?"

"What, the one as big as me?" returned the boy.

"What a delightful boy!" said Scrooge. "It's a pleasure to talk to him. Yes, my buck!"

"It's sitting there now," replied the boy.

"Is it?" said Scrooge. "Go and buy it."

"Are you daft, Sir!" exclaimed the boy.

"No, no," said Scrooge, "I am in earnest. Go and buy it, and tell 'em to bring it here, that I may give them the direction where to take it. Come back with the man, and I'll give you a shilling. Come back with him in less than five minutes, and I'll give you half-a-crown!"

"I'll send it to Bob Cratchit's!" whispered Scrooge, rubbing his hands, and splitting with a laugh. "He shall have lump, and a Plate Setter, and a great Christmas goose. He sha'n't know who sends it. It's twice the size of Tiny Tim.”

A Christmas Egg, Charles Eggins

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