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Retarded siblings

cookn bikercookn biker Posts: 13,407
edited 11:08PM in Off Topic
Any one have one? I have a severly mentally retarded brother. First born. Born at Fort Carson, Colo Spgs.Jamie is 59 years old.His mind is of a three year old. My mom says that while the cockroaches ran across her belly she know she had to push and the doc stopped her. He was born this way because of lack of oxygen. Used to be they had intitutions for people like this. I grew up with this in my childhood. We'd pile, all four other kids and parents, in the AMC car's that my dad loved and make the drive up to Denver. Colo. Spgs did not have the facilities then. The stench of the place was unique, sonething I will never forget. For a child to see the citizens in there with helmets on thier heads banging their heads againts the walls and other behaviors. I dunno it stuck. We'd leave and he'd run under the car and it took hours to get him out. Our drive home was silent. I, as an adult, was the sibling that always had Jamie home with me and my son Adriel. I remember Jamie meeting Adriel as a baby. He wanted to to touch him and I'd have to say not so rough Jamie (always had to say this. Jamie calls me Maee and, at the time my son baiy. I thought it was important that Adriel know his uncle and for me to keep him in our lives. At this time the institutions were outlawed and "homes' were the way to go. So I had him down lot's, he'd spend weekends with us. It was hell getting back up the Denver. I'd have to have help cause he'd get pissed and jet down the street or throw a fit in some manner.
So there is the background, I could go on.
Jamie is in the hospital, again. With phneumonia. For the last two and a half years he has not been gaining weight. He eats like a friggin horse (runs in the family) His gate has always been bad cause of seizers and meds and balance issues. Mom has been trying to get a second opinion but you know how the state is with getting **** done quick. Anyway we will go see Jamie on Saturday. It's quite heartwrenching to see him this way.
Thanks for listening. Prayers appreciated.
One of my sisters wrote poems about each family member years ago. One line I remember form Jamies poem was "maybe he is better off than the rest of us"
Molly
Colorado Springs
"Loney Queen"
"Respect your fellow human being, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it."
Bill Bradley; American hall of fame basketball player, Rhodes scholar, former U.S. Senator from New Jersey
LBGE, MBGE, SBGE , MiniBGE and a Mini Mini BGE

Comments

  • Cory430Cory430 Posts: 1,072
    I'm sorry honey, sometimes the suck just keeps on coming. After wallowing in my own cesspool of self pity for the last month or 2 a tale such as this puts it in perspective a bit. My thoughts are with you and yours as you travel this rough road.
  • cookn bikercookn biker Posts: 13,407
    Thanks alot Cory.
    Molly
    Colorado Springs
    "Loney Queen"
    "Respect your fellow human being, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it."
    Bill Bradley; American hall of fame basketball player, Rhodes scholar, former U.S. Senator from New Jersey
    LBGE, MBGE, SBGE , MiniBGE and a Mini Mini BGE
  • Cory430Cory430 Posts: 1,072
    You have my number if you need to vent a bit. I know how much it helps sometimes.
  • cookn bikercookn biker Posts: 13,407
    You rock! Glad your back!
    Molly
    Colorado Springs
    "Loney Queen"
    "Respect your fellow human being, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it."
    Bill Bradley; American hall of fame basketball player, Rhodes scholar, former U.S. Senator from New Jersey
    LBGE, MBGE, SBGE , MiniBGE and a Mini Mini BGE
  • rho1640rho1640 Posts: 118
    Not siblings (I'm an only child) but cousins - one was born with only the part of the brain that works bodily functions - she was a newborn until she passed at 11 -- I had one cousin that was severely retarded also but I don't know what the cause was for him - but looking back it seems he was similar to SueEllen he lived into his late 20's and was over 6 feet - and 2 cousins with Downs --

    I'm so sorry that Jamie is in the hospital again and that the state isn't stepping up and helping -- know that there are prayers and good thoughts going out for you all ..
  • rsmdalersmdale Posts: 2,472
    Molly,I feel for you,and admire your love for your brother.I have a brother-in-law Tom,he is very functional,has had seizures since age 15 (crashed 3 mustangs in Colo until they had hm checked.He is a big gentle giant that will eat himself sick if you let him.He has the mentality of a 13 year old but wants to be treated as a adult unless it involves candy.We are his legal guardian and dealing with the state on medical issues is a real pain.He grew up in Arvada and wants to go back there to find his girlfriend (18 years ago) He will be going with us to the eggfest on Sat so watch out cooks ,there will be no food left.


    GOOD EATS AND GOOD FRIENDS

    DALE
  • MaineggMainegg Posts: 7,787
    Oh Molly... so sad the lives that are locked in their minds that we can not reach. I have a couple of friends that are adult care givers and live in the group homes 5 nights a week with their "Room mates" :) I know a few of their clients and such sweet innocent people most of the time, just don't change any routines :pinch: I also have a cousin that has a downs son and an autistic son too along with 7 other kids. she home schools all 9 and does it all. super women I think.
    I hope all goes well for you in your battles and I will be thinking of you. Sending big big hugs :)
  • cookn bikercookn biker Posts: 13,407
    Thanks so much. I appreciate that.
    Molly
    Colorado Springs
    "Loney Queen"
    "Respect your fellow human being, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it."
    Bill Bradley; American hall of fame basketball player, Rhodes scholar, former U.S. Senator from New Jersey
    LBGE, MBGE, SBGE , MiniBGE and a Mini Mini BGE
  • cookn bikercookn biker Posts: 13,407
    Thank you Dale. I'll update after our visit tomorrow. I know he is trying to bust out, it's the Hamlin way.
    Molly
    Colorado Springs
    "Loney Queen"
    "Respect your fellow human being, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it."
    Bill Bradley; American hall of fame basketball player, Rhodes scholar, former U.S. Senator from New Jersey
    LBGE, MBGE, SBGE , MiniBGE and a Mini Mini BGE
  • cookn bikercookn biker Posts: 13,407
    Appreciate that Julie. All you can do is pray. It'll be a tough visit. I love seeing him. He has the Hamlin humor. I love looking into his eyes, it's special to me. He knows he can't slip nothing by me..he try's very hard and laughs when he try's.
    Molly
    Colorado Springs
    "Loney Queen"
    "Respect your fellow human being, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it."
    Bill Bradley; American hall of fame basketball player, Rhodes scholar, former U.S. Senator from New Jersey
    LBGE, MBGE, SBGE , MiniBGE and a Mini Mini BGE
  • :( Hey Molly, have worked with Mentally Retarded since 1972...one, in Austin State School, stated "I may be retarded, but I'm not stupid!" Held onto that ever since....Still work with DD in Jr. College program...Am thinking about my brother, too, this weekend. He would have been 55 on Sunday. Smart boy, but started drugs at 15 and died of OD at 49....Stupid. At least you still have yours, honey.
  • RipnemRipnem Posts: 5,511
    Molly,
    All the best to your brother and your family as you handle the situation. Meds can be scary stuff. Some doc in AZ had my grammy half goofy from hers years ago. Shes 89 now and sharp as a tack.

    I'll check in later.
  • cookn bikercookn biker Posts: 13,407
    Kari, You are right, I have two and am greatful. I'm glad my Mom has my second father, Wally. My step bro flew himself out a huge window. Fly away..
    Luv ya
    Molly
    Colorado Springs
    "Loney Queen"
    "Respect your fellow human being, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it."
    Bill Bradley; American hall of fame basketball player, Rhodes scholar, former U.S. Senator from New Jersey
    LBGE, MBGE, SBGE , MiniBGE and a Mini Mini BGE
  •  
    No one knows unless they have been there.

    Our prayers go out to you and your entire family.

    Kent & Shelagh
  • AZRPAZRP Posts: 10,116
    Molly, probably makes me understand your strengths a little better. -RP
  • cookn bikercookn biker Posts: 13,407
    Yup, your right. Thanks Kent. Thank you.
    Molly
    Colorado Springs
    "Loney Queen"
    "Respect your fellow human being, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it."
    Bill Bradley; American hall of fame basketball player, Rhodes scholar, former U.S. Senator from New Jersey
    LBGE, MBGE, SBGE , MiniBGE and a Mini Mini BGE
  • cookn bikercookn biker Posts: 13,407
    Appreciate that.
    Molly
    Colorado Springs
    "Loney Queen"
    "Respect your fellow human being, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it."
    Bill Bradley; American hall of fame basketball player, Rhodes scholar, former U.S. Senator from New Jersey
    LBGE, MBGE, SBGE , MiniBGE and a Mini Mini BGE
  • cookn bikercookn biker Posts: 13,407
    Wow Randy, you brought me to cry.
    Really.
    Molly
    Colorado Springs
    "Loney Queen"
    "Respect your fellow human being, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it."
    Bill Bradley; American hall of fame basketball player, Rhodes scholar, former U.S. Senator from New Jersey
    LBGE, MBGE, SBGE , MiniBGE and a Mini Mini BGE
  • AZRPAZRP Posts: 10,116
    Well I didn't know anything about you besides you're an Egghead and a dumpster diving green person. But I detected something else in your character and this explains it. Life may not be fair, but you have to play with the cards you are dealt. I'd say you play a pretty good hand. -RP
  • cookn bikercookn biker Posts: 13,407
    Back atcha!! :)
    Molly
    Colorado Springs
    "Loney Queen"
    "Respect your fellow human being, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it."
    Bill Bradley; American hall of fame basketball player, Rhodes scholar, former U.S. Senator from New Jersey
    LBGE, MBGE, SBGE , MiniBGE and a Mini Mini BGE
  • Molly,

    So sad. I feel your pain. My sister Paula is Down syndrome. I nearly killed a few kids that hurt her as a child by making fun of her. I have never had rage like that any other time in my life. She is 47. My mom and dad refused to let her go to an institution. Her life expectancy was 25 years they were told at her birth. Go figure with those places. She is high functioning and full of love. Mom and Dad have passed and she has been living with us for about five years. I am blessed with a wife, three wonderful sons and a daughter that worship her and in-law family that look after her and make her feel loved. She had the time of her life at the Florida Eggfest this year and will again next because of some wonderful Egg friends like Julie and Neil, John and Joan, Pat and Wendy, Mike and Sabrina, Todd and Jeannie and the boys, Anne and Del, Kim and Ginny, Rod, Teddy and Chris, Gene, Al and many many others took her into their hearts and for that I will be eternally grateful. God bless your brother and all of the caring folk that have looked into the hearts of those people and seen the love that is so much there!

    Steve

    Steve 

    Caledon, ON

     

  • Dale,

    He sounds like my sister. Just wait and see how well Eggheads treat him. It's a wonderful thing to see and not just with the food.

    Steve

    Steve 

    Caledon, ON

     

  • cookn bikercookn biker Posts: 13,407
    Amen to that!! Bless the care givers that are in the world!!
    Molly
    Colorado Springs
    "Loney Queen"
    "Respect your fellow human being, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it."
    Bill Bradley; American hall of fame basketball player, Rhodes scholar, former U.S. Senator from New Jersey
    LBGE, MBGE, SBGE , MiniBGE and a Mini Mini BGE
  • My heartfelt prayers go out to you and your family. I have a 37 year old son that is just like your brother. He has taught us many lessons in this lifetime Love, Compassion and Patients to mention a few. He has also given my daughter the ability to work with the difficult people she encounters in her line of work as a nurse.

    Blessed are the people who are caregivers of the special people in this world.

    AuntieEgger
  • cookn bikercookn biker Posts: 13,407
    I think about how many tears my mom has cryed over her son throughout the years.
    Prayers to you also.
    Molly
    Colorado Springs
    "Loney Queen"
    "Respect your fellow human being, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it."
    Bill Bradley; American hall of fame basketball player, Rhodes scholar, former U.S. Senator from New Jersey
    LBGE, MBGE, SBGE , MiniBGE and a Mini Mini BGE
  • Yup it’s not easy at times but crying is a good release tears cleans the soul and give you strength so it’s all good.

    Took him to the Dr’s today got some good news and some not so good news but life is like that you just deal with whatever comes your way.

    Don’t think anyone has ever prayed for me before. I appreciate your prayers thank you very much.

    AuntieEgger
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