OT- When is @20stone going to post some pics and tell the story of his outdoor Christmas tree?

Foghorn

When is @20stone going to post some pics and tell the story of his outdoor Christmas tree?

jeffwit

I don’t know, but coming from you guys, it’s gotta be good. Let’s ping him until he does. 
@20stone

Foghorn

Thank you @jeffwit.  My son stopped by his house last weekend to pick up our share of the meat from the last butchering session and came home telling the story of the @20stone outdoor Christmas tree.  I've privately encouraged him to post about it but he hasn't responded.  So, now I've resorted to public shaming.   He left me no choice.  

theyolksonyou

Don't you have to feel shame to be publicly shamed?

Foghorn

That's a good point @theyolksonyou.

CTMike

C'mon @20stone, lets hear it.

The Cen-Tex Smoker

If you leave @20stone house without a story you have either not done it right or he is withholding something from you. 

Foghorn

Bump @20stone.

nolaegghead

He is obviously ignoring you.  Must be a great story.

Firemanyz

@20stone

Foghorn

Yeah. He’s visiting one of the 20stonespawn for the holiday.

But the story starts off with him buying a tree that’s too big for his house a la Clark Griswold. 

I know that doesn’t surprise anyone who knows him. 

Eggcelsior

Foghorn said:

Yeah. He’s visiting one of the 20stonespawn for the holiday.

But the story starts off with him buying a tree that’s too big for his house a la Clark Griswold. 

I know that doesn’t surprise anyone who knows him. 

If you don't watch out with all the prompts on where he put his tree, he's going to tell you to bend over so he can show you.

jeffwit

Bump. Because it sounds like we need this story. @20stone

20stone

Foghorn said:

Yeah. He’s visiting one of the 20stonespawn for the holiday.

But the story starts off with him buying a tree that’s too big for his house a la Clark Griswold. 

I know that doesn’t surprise anyone who knows him. 

True on all three counts.

While I am well known for roping people in for a little project that incrementally spirals out of control (but is (usually) fun in the process), this particular circumstance created no collateral damage, and even a new tradition at Chez Jonz.

Due to the repeated pinging/shaming, I will give the full story here.  For those of you with TLDR tendencies:

• I like Christmas trees
• I was sent to buy a Christmas tree unsupervised (always a bad idea)
• I bought one I liked
• It was so big, @20stonespice and I couldn't pick it up, let alone fit it in the house
• It is now in our back yard, with over 300 ft of lights, cranberries and strings of bird seed that look like Christmas lights
• We'll likely never have a "normal" inside tree again

Beginnings
My first job in high school (right when I became "legal" at 14) was selling Christmas trees at Cornelius Nursery, the high end spot for all things Christmas in Houston at the time.

From that experience, I gained an appreciation for a fine Frasier fir -- a hint of blue under the needles, strong branches if they were pruned right, hold their needles the longest (tied with Noble firs, both of which will "keep you in Christmas" into Feb if you so desire.

I also learned to mock artificial trees (toilet scrubbers).

Recent history
One of the things @20stonespice and I notice when we are buying a home is where the tree is going to go.  This included renting on the top floor of a mid-rise a few years ago because it had 12 ft ceilings instead of 10 ft.  We annually conceded a material amount of our square footage to 10+ foot monsters.


We bought our current house in Oct 16, and had no problem with a tree, since we didn't have much furniture in there (from the escalating effort/collateral damage files - the house was having a bunch of stuff done, and we (me and the spawn) moved furniture in just for Christmas.. and then moved it right back out right after).

This year
This year however, "the spot" is occupied by new/huge furniture, with us heading out of town for Christmas day, @20stonespice to suggested a nice little table top tree.  After she saw my face (that said something like "Do you even KNOW me!?!"), she suggested that maybe we could put one on the front porch (you know, with the 12 ft ceiling), and off I went.

I ended up going to the nice nursery at the end of the street and found a beautiful Frasier fir, and two fine young men placed it in the bed of my truck.  It wasn't til I got it home that I realized:

• The width of the tree at the base is bigger than the depth of our porch
• The height of the tree is more than 12 ft
• @20stonespice and I, together, could not actually pick it up (to carry it up stairs or otherwise) (note - I am not a small nor a weak person)

So, I backed up the truck to the back yard, and we rolled it into the middle, and covered it with 300 feet of LEDs, a string of cranberries and several strings of seeds shaped like Christmas lights.

We can see it in all of its glory when you open the front door (back doors are glass).  Bonus points when it snowed in Houston (which, you might note is rare).



Free from size limits (save, perhaps, the payload of a RAM 1500) next year may look like Rockefeller Center.

Epilogue - Chip off the old block
@20spawn1 moved to Steamboat Springs, CO awhile back and @20spawn3 joined him for Thanksgiving this year.  As part of their time together (and with a permit) they headed up into the forest to chop down a Christmas tree.  In true @20 form, they came back to @20spawn1's tiny place with a 12+ footer, and set it up outside the back door, lights and all.

Fast forward to this week.  With everyone in town, and presents being opened at his place, (part of) the tree needed to come inside.  I was given one of my presents early to get the tree to an appropriate height:


The funny thing was, the trunk of the tree was frozen in the water in the base.  We ended up using a MAP torch and a maul to "free it up" so we could put our now-almost-fits-in-the-apartment sized tree in the base.  Any job you can do with your sons that involves a gator saw, a maul and a MAP torch is a job worth doing.

Being true to form, the top half of the tree ALMOST fit into his place.



And a belated very Merry Christmas to you all!

TN_Egger

Great story Stone but...pics or it didn't happen.

20stone

TN_Egger said:

Great story Stone but...pics or it didn't happen.

You are too quick on the trigger.  I had to do the "story on the computer, edit to upload pics from the phone" move, and you caught me in the 60 seconds in between.

blind99

Now THAT'S how you celebrate Christmas!  Well done sir!

jeffwit

Great story, but I wish I had known there was a thing called a gator saw BEFORE Christmas. 

lkapigian

Great Story , and yes I did have to Google what TLDR meant---I went Treeless for many years after being on my own for so long when "The lady I live with" moved in some years back, she wanted a tree to which I refused, so she decorated the coastal redwoods in the front yard. The next 2 years I allowed a XMas Tree on the front deck, now the tree is in the house and I actually like it

Thanks For Sharing

SciAggie

@20stone That is a fantastic story. It reinforces my belief that most folks on this forum a great people of sound morals - and hilariously poor judgment - that make life memorable. I look forward to an adventure with you. 

20stone

SciAggie said:

...I look forward to an adventure with you. 

They all say that at first

theyolksonyou

Well, that was worth the wait. 

CTMike

Great story, worth the wait as mentioned above. I grew up in the PNW and my Dad and some of his buddies would all get permits and go cut trees for all the families in one of the National Forests in the area. Loved going along on those adventures.

Sadly now we are limited to an artificial tree due to the wife's asthma.

theyolksonyou

Had to share this story with Mrs. Yolk as Christmas trees are an annual "discussion" at our house   

bud812

And now we know the rest of the story as Paul Harvey would say.

20stone

CTMike said:

...
Sadly now we are limited to an artificial tree due to the wife's asthma.

Outdoor tree, no problem

Foghorn

Thanks for regaling us with your tale.

I knew it would be worth reading -and it was.

caliking

Time for a new house...

The Cen-Tex Smoker

caliking said:

Time for a new house...

Dude. You are bad. Did you order your kbq yet? Did I tell you how spectacular my Christmas ham was? 

The Cen-Tex Smoker

jeffwit said:

Great story, but I wish I had known there was a thing called a gator saw BEFORE Christmas. 

The gator saw is awesome. 

mEGG_My_Day

Awesome story - merry Xmas!!