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OT: T'was the week after Christmas :OT

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RRP
RRP Posts: 25,888
in Off Topic


Twas the week after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, nor my wife in a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste.
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruitcake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore --
But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!  

Re-gasketing America one yard at a time.
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Comments

  • JethroVA
    JethroVA Posts: 1,251
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    Thanks Ron, very appropriate. 
    Richmond and Mathews County, VA. Large BGE, Weber gas, little Weber charcoal. Vintage ManGrates. Little reddish portable kamado that shall remain nameless here.  Very Extremely Stable Genius. 
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  • northGAcock
    northGAcock Posts: 15,164
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    Ron is on fire this morning. Can def appreciate the motivation behind this poem. 
    Ellijay GA with a Medium & MiniMax

    Well, I married me a wife, she's been trouble all my life,
    Run me out in the cold rain and snow
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  • Botch
    Botch Posts: 15,466
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    That's a keeper!  
    _____________

    Remember when teachers used to say 'You won't have a calculator everywhere you go'?  Well, we showed them.


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  • SGH
    SGH Posts: 28,791
    edited January 2016
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    A Ode to Fat Claus.

    'Twas the day after Christmas when my fat a$$ arose,
    I have got so damn big, I can't even fit in my clothes. 

    The wife is in the kitchen and I'm on the couch,
    Think I will have a few ribeyes, and just sit here and slouch.

    Now my belly is overly full which always pleases me,
    Just laying here belching, and farting loudly with glee.

    My big ole belly is full and kind of sticks out,
    Go on a diet you say, hell no I scream with a shout!!

    With all the stockings hung by the chimney with care,
    The aroma of unit 6 is swirling through the air.

    There will be no weight watching nor nibbling for me,
    Cause Im a big fat glutton which you can plainly see. 

    Now hear me exclaim before I turn in for the night,
    Happy eating to all, and eat everything in sight........

    Location- Just "this side" of Biloxi, Ms.

    Status- Standing by.

    The greatest barrier against all wisdom, the stronghold against knowledge itself, is the single thought, in ones mind, that they already have it all figured out. 

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  • YEMTrey
    YEMTrey Posts: 6,829
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    My new years resolution is to play a lot more golf in 2016.  In order to facilitate that I'll need to lose some weight and get in better golf shape.  Gonna do my best to make this happen.
    Steve 
    XL, Mini Max, and a 22" Blackstone in Cincinnati, Ohio
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  • RRP
    RRP Posts: 25,888
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    Fact is weight gain isn't so much what you eat from Christmas to New Years Day - it's what you eat from New Years Day to Christmas! ;)
    Re-gasketing America one yard at a time.
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  • SGH
    SGH Posts: 28,791
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    @RRP
    How did you like my ode to Fat Claus above?

    Location- Just "this side" of Biloxi, Ms.

    Status- Standing by.

    The greatest barrier against all wisdom, the stronghold against knowledge itself, is the single thought, in ones mind, that they already have it all figured out. 

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  • RRP
    RRP Posts: 25,888
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    SGH said:
    @RRP
    How did you like my ode to Fat Claus above?
    Love it! Guess you didn't catch my thumbs up Agree rating!
    Re-gasketing America one yard at a time.
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  • SGH
    SGH Posts: 28,791
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    RRP said:
    SGH said:
    @RRP
    How did you like my ode to Fat Claus above?
    Love it! Guess you didn't catch my thumbs up Agree rating!
    I'm on mobil. Can't see it my friend. 

    Location- Just "this side" of Biloxi, Ms.

    Status- Standing by.

    The greatest barrier against all wisdom, the stronghold against knowledge itself, is the single thought, in ones mind, that they already have it all figured out. 

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  • bgebrent
    bgebrent Posts: 19,636
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    Nice poems brothers!  I resemble them both!
    Sandy Springs & Dawsonville Ga
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  • SGH
    SGH Posts: 28,791
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    bgebrent said:
    Nice poems brothers!  I resemble them both!
    I'm both a great singer and poet. Want to hear me sing Yetiland? Oops, I forgot that I made a New Years resolution to not perform that one on the forum anymore. Sorry my friend ;)

    Location- Just "this side" of Biloxi, Ms.

    Status- Standing by.

    The greatest barrier against all wisdom, the stronghold against knowledge itself, is the single thought, in ones mind, that they already have it all figured out. 

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  • RRP
    RRP Posts: 25,888
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    SGH said:
    bgebrent said:
    Nice poems brothers!  I resemble them both!
    I'm both a great singer and poet. Want to hear me sing Yetiland? Oops, I forgot that I made a New Years resolution to not perform that one on the forum anymore. Sorry my friend ;)
    LOL - hey Scottie, I recall you said you had your land legs "until January" - so when do you head back to the water?
    Re-gasketing America one yard at a time.
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  • Ozzie_Isaac
    Ozzie_Isaac Posts: 19,035
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    Well done Ron!
    A bison’s level of aggressiveness, both physical and passive, is legendary. - NPS
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  • SGH
    SGH Posts: 28,791
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    RRP said:
    LOL - hey Scottie, I recall you said you had your land legs "until January" - so when do you head back to the water?
    Sadly it won't be long Ron. Possibly next week. I hope that is not the case.  

    Location- Just "this side" of Biloxi, Ms.

    Status- Standing by.

    The greatest barrier against all wisdom, the stronghold against knowledge itself, is the single thought, in ones mind, that they already have it all figured out. 

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  • NPHuskerFL
    NPHuskerFL Posts: 17,629
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    :lol: Good Stuff
    LBGE 2013 & MM 2014
    Die Hard HUSKER & BRONCO FAN
    Flying Low & Slow in "Da Burg" FL
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  • RRP
    RRP Posts: 25,888
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    SGH said:
    RRP said:
    LOL - hey Scottie, I recall you said you had your land legs "until January" - so when do you head back to the water?
    Sadly it won't be long Ron. Possibly next week. I hope that is not the case.  
    trust me - I am from a different era & a different occupation, but I know what you are feeling- even without your saying it. At least in my case I might be home some nights unlike your long periods away. I feel for you, Scottie! My best advice is bear with it, save up and bail out as early as you can! I was able to retire at age 60 and never looked back even ONCE!!!
    Re-gasketing America one yard at a time.
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  • SGH
    SGH Posts: 28,791
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    @RRP
    I sure hope to hang it up in the next year or so. I do not say this begrudgingly, I honestly don't, but if I didn't help so many of my family I could have hung it up 2 or 3 years ago. I'm really wanting to start my own business. Just something small to keep me active. I'm about set up to start building smokers. Also considering to start back offering mobil slaughter services. I have a few irons in the fire and hopefully a little time on my side. Maybe it will all work out for the good in the long run. 

    Location- Just "this side" of Biloxi, Ms.

    Status- Standing by.

    The greatest barrier against all wisdom, the stronghold against knowledge itself, is the single thought, in ones mind, that they already have it all figured out. 

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  • FarmerTom
    FarmerTom Posts: 685
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    Hey SGH, do I remember you saying you work in the oil industry down there?  After Katrina, my wife and I spent a week in Bay St. Louis helping clean out houses.  We helped a couple that the husband was a helicopter pilot for the off shore oil rigs.  

    Tommy 

    Middle of Nowhere, Northern Kentucky
       1 M, 1 XL, a BlackStone,1 old Webber, a Border Collie, a German Shepherd and 3 of her pups, and 2 Yorkies

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  • SGH
    SGH Posts: 28,791
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    FarmerTom said:
    Hey SGH, do I remember you saying you work in the oil industry down there?  
    Yes sir, I do. I'm a client QM rep. Over see the quality control on subsea pipelines and umbilicals. Here are few shots of some of the last umbilicals and pipe. 

    Subsea pipeline starting it's 7,000 foot decent to the seabed bellow. 

    Stalk rack. 

    The Lewek Constellation with umbilicals on the tower feeding through the moon pool. 

    The Deep Blue backing in to spool KODIAK pipeline. 

    1 mile stalks being rolled up like a water hose. 

    Umbilical loading at Mobil Midbay Port. 

    Location- Just "this side" of Biloxi, Ms.

    Status- Standing by.

    The greatest barrier against all wisdom, the stronghold against knowledge itself, is the single thought, in ones mind, that they already have it all figured out. 

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