OT: Are YOU a Hipster? ( @henapple )

nolaegghead

"Hipster" is one of those words that is used so frequently in everyday vernacular, it's practically become meaningless. Every art school kid, aspiring graphic designer or ukelele player has had the term thrown their way from time to time. We'd contest that the overuse of the word is simply degrading to the cult of real, hardcore hipsterdom -- we're talking sewing machine-toting, unicycle-riding hipsters. Here's a field guide to spotting a proper hipster, in the wild:

1. A true hipster uses obsolete technology.

Because to make real art, you have to suffer more than the average person.

2. They often play super quirky instruments.

After all, banjos are way mainstream.

3. A true hipster also has hyper-intensive crafting equipment, which she brings with her -- everywhere.

According to the Imgur user who uploaded the picture, the spinner in question was politely working in the BMW Service waiting room.

4. They can't help it -- they just love making art.

Creating on the subway isn't for the faint of heart.

5. They also love cheap beer.

They keep theirs under close watch.

6. And, above all else, they love celebrating their cheap beer through art..

This DIY beer aficionado singlehandedly elevated the cult of Pabst Blue Ribbon to true art.

7. Even if they mostly just picked it up from the hipsters of the past.

Clint Eastwood actually drinking PBR "before it was cool."

8. A true hipster's favored mode of transportation is often incomprehensible...

How? What? (He earns hipster bonus points for traveling with suitcase in hand.)

9. Or at the very least, dramatic.

They travel in a hipper stratosphere than you.

10. But again, usually they're just copycats of hipsters past.

A bicycle, before the vehicle was maimed by capitalism.

11. Or sometimes imitating trendsetters of an even further bygone era?

Perfect for Hipster Fred Flinstone, and pretty much nobody else.

12. Their uniforms range from standard...

Tight pants? Check. Big glasses? Check. Hair that stands out in a crowd. Check. Tiny scarf? Check. You're ready to start your hipster day!

13. To the very, very ridiculous.

The garter socks make the man.

14. But usually, that just means ripping off hipsters from the past.

An Imgur user uploaded this photograph of his father, which was apparently taken at Bob Dylan's “The Night of the Hurricane II," benefit concert, which took place inside the Houston Astrodome in 1976. Huge glasses were hip long before Instagram, kids.

15. Hipsters get tattooed with purpose.

Don't be silly, it's not a real camera -- this is the well-known hipster quality known as "irony."

16. Don't misunderstand -- they don't care that much about the tat they choose.

Tattoos like this are completely spontaneous.

17. Hipsters also have well-coiffed facial hair.

Noodle bowl beards are environmentally conscious, but that's not why hipsters get them.

18. Which they sometimes send as a token of affection to a former boo.

Our condolences to the Reddit user who apparently received this special snail-mail love note from her ex-boyfriend. At least you still have the memories?

19. Probably because they know they can't live up to beards of hipsters past.

That's a windmill in a beard so, conversation over.

20. Hipsters love expanding their minds.

And, you know, goofing around with cats.

21. And they have no problem expressing their opinions.

Brunch or die, mofos.

22. But they're more reluctant to express their love without being sardonic.

He's mostly not kidding:

That well-known hipster mating call...

23. And the political philosophy they're most likely to subscribe to is apathy.

Behold, the disillusioned young-adult voting populace of London. They don't want to be part of any club that closes before 5 AM.

24. Most importantly, hipsters know how much they're hated, particularly by the hipsters of the past.

After all, all the grouchy curmudgeons aren't very subtle.

Now that you know the anatomy of a hipster, you can distinguish between those true-blue hipsters, and some guy in skinny jeans who just happens to be wearing the plaid shirt his mom bought for him. Go forth, with irony and thick skin.

(from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/05/you-call-that-a-hipster_n_4717993.html )

Hipsters are known for many things: ironic fashion statements, pretentious attitudes and a carefully curated social media presence. They possess a constantly updated library of obscure bands to love when their current favorite gets too popular to be cool anymore. And they take their food very seriously.

Like any sub-culture, hipsters are drawn to a certain set of food ideals. While we admire many of them -- like artisanal provisions and locally harvested produce -- we hate what hipsters have done to them. It all comes down to attitude, which is serious, self-serving and judgmental. (We realize we're being judgmental too right now. Just go with it. This is all in good fun.) We, like hipsters, value homemade crafts and healthy eating, for example, but we won't judge you if you don't. We also value good food made by small farms and manufacturers, but we don't need to tweet about it all the time. We're okay eating a foraged mushroom even if no one knows about it.

We're also fans of some of the specific foods beloved by hipsters. We're certainly no stranger to the fancy doughnut shops, but we like simple, old-fashioned doughnuts just as much. We adore Brussels sprouts and love pickles, but we don't think we're better than you for eating them every day. Hipsters, you're our friends. We just wish you'd tone it down a notch and lighten up a little when it comes to your food obsessions.

Here are 22 foods we think hipsters need to calm down about before they ruin them all for good.

• 1
  Cold Brew Coffee
  jonathanpercy/Flickr
  Hipsters and fancy coffee, especially cold brew, go together like peanut butter and jelly. But we don't need your pretentious attitude so early in the morning, thanks.
• 2
  Anything off of a food truck
  AP
  We get it. Food trucks are cool. You're not cool for eating from them, however.
• 3
  Pickles
  Facebook/McClure's Pickles
  What's the deal? We love pickles too, but why are you hipsters so obsessed?
• 4
  Brussels Sprouts
  Simply Recipes
  Brussels sprouts are great, but hipsters, you have turned them from a cool vegetable to an unstoppable, inescapable craze. Now they're so trendy we bet you're over them too.
• 5
  Kombucha
  
  If you're able to lie to yourself and others so much that you can convince yourself that kombucha actually tastes good, you are a true hipster. If you are willing to grow the slimy culture in your own home, you have successfully achieved something all hipsters thrive for but few actually realize: complete alienation from all other humans.
• 6
  Bacon
  Mike Kemp via Getty Images
  You can like bacon, but you can't own bacon. You have to recognize that the WHOLE WORLD likes bacon too. Liking bacon does not make you tough, nor does it make you special.
• 7
  PBR
  icopythat/Flickr
  You can have PBR, however.
• 8
  Kale
  Grace Clementine via Getty Images
  From salads to smoothies, kale is everywhere, and hipsters, you have commandeered this leafy green in the worst way. Despite what you may think, it's not going to solve all your problems.
• 9
  Anything served in a mason jar
  missmareck/Flickr
  Especially overpriced cocktails.
• 10
  Kimchi
  Brian Yarvin via Getty Images
  Kimchi is amazing, but it doesn't have to be eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day.
• 11
  Tacos
  avlxyz/Flickr
  Tacos, of course, aren't exclusively or originally a hipster food. Hipsters, however, think they invented the damn things and own the rights to any and all iterations of tacos, for all time.
• 12
  Kimchi Tacos
  Facebook/Tacos
  Need we say more?
• 13
  Artisanal anything
  Facebook/Murray's Cheese
  We know you'd eat a corn dog if it was labeled artisanal. Do you see the error of your ways? Well, we guess you'd eat a regular corn dog too to be ironic. But you can't win with corn dogs, so give it up already.
• 14
  Ramps
  Valery Rizzo via Getty Images
  Ramps may be spring's most hipster vegetable.
• 15
  Home-brewed beer
  killbox/Flickr
  Yes, we get it, you brew your own beer. It doesn't mean it's good.
• 16
  Foraged anything
  Mint Images - Jonathan Kozowyk via Getty Images
  Just because those weeds in the park are edible doesn't mean you should eat them. Again, we support foraging, but we don't support eating foraged food just to tell your Instagram following that you did it.
• 17
  Vegan cookies
  Veganbaking.net/Flickr
  Or vegan anything that shouldn't be vegan. We're pro vegan food. Just not when it's trying to be something it's not.
• 18
  Green juice
  Chris Gramly via Getty Images
  Your green juice costs more than your rent. Are you happy now?
• 19
  Cauliflower
  joyosity/Flickr
  Two rules: cauliflower is not meant for pizza and you should stop calling it steak.
• 20
  Home-made soda
  SodaStream Facebook
  Enough already.
• 21
  Craft Beer
  SensorSpot via Getty Images
  This video says it all, but craft beer couldn't be better fodder for niche-obsessed hipsters.
• 22
  Fancy Doughnuts
  Facebook/dough
  What ever happened to cinnamon sugar doughnuts from the farmer's market? Ok, that sounds pretty hipster too. But not as hipster as a matcha green tea doughnut.

(from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/15/hipster-food_n_5146632.html )

Note:  posted in OT

buzd504

I didn't realize @henapple also plays washboard.

caliking

buzd504 said:

I didn't realize @henapple also plays washboard.

That was my first thought as well.

So many things I love in this post, so many things I hate too. Ate some kale for the first time the other day. Never realized it was so fugly. But its beautiful on the inside. Just like @henapple.

nolaegghead

I've heard so much about ramps I want to try them.  Now if I could just find them....

bud812

fishlessman

got some ideas for the beard now, but no way am i drinking the green juice

Eggcelsior

nolaegghead said:

I've heard so much about ramps I want to try them.  Now if I could just find them....

Ramps are awesome. Head to Asheville in a couple of weeks. It's kind of a big deal in NC.

nolaegghead

@Eggcelsior - looking back a week or two, I think when SWMBO was weeding the garden, she pulled out a bunch of what she called "wild green onions" - I now think might have been ramps.

How do you cook 'em?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/01/ramp-recipes_n_1428780.html

Eggcelsior

It's been a long time since I've had them. I just remember the festivals when I lived in Appalachia. I am forever seeking out a leek that can replicate that flavor. Potato-ramp soup, biscuits, basically anything you put leeks and/or garlic into where those flavors are the centerpiece. 

gmac

We always called them wild leeks around here. They stink. I can't agree on homebrewing and craft beer. How can hipsters drink PBR and also homebrew. But I hate the phrase craft beer anyway. It just beer that isn't American Lager.

henapple

Haters...

Lit

Mmmmm. Green smoothies. They're whats for breakfast. They're actually pretty good they taste like granny smith apples and banana.

Eggcelsior

Do it right, henapple!

Eggcelsior

Lit said:

Mmmmm. Green smoothies. They're whats for breakfast. They're actually pretty good they taste like granny smith apples and banana.

Love em. Blendtec FTW. I throw spinach into everything.

Eggcelsior

Uh oh. Sorry nola. This thread appears to be disappearing into the ether.

nolaegghead

That's fine.  Hijacking threads is also very hipster, especially when you're talking about liquified spinach nourishment.  But you can't use a Blendtec, you have to use a mortar and pestle rigged up to your unicycle. 

henapple

Eggcelsior said:

Do it right, henapple!

Don't know how?

nolaegghead

Eggcelsior said:

Uh oh. Sorry nola. This thread appears to be disappearing into the ether.

Oh, you mean it isn't getting "bumped" up the list.  I noticed that.  Someone doesn't like me very much.  Probably costing them too much bandwidth with all the graphics.

Fred19Flintstone

I drink PBR like I wear plaid. Only every once in a while. I've never heard of green juice so I'm pretty sure my non-hipster status is secure.

nolaegghead

Fred19Flintstone said:

I drink PBR like I wear plaid. Only every once in a while. I've never heard of green juice so I'm pretty sure my non-hipster status is secure.

You haven't really lived until you've had a Vietnamese avocado smoothie.  Runny guacamole is no substitute

Lit

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ohnuyqJyEW0