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Hurry up spare ribs

So I have three racks of St. Louis cut spare ribs from Costco that have been sitting in the fridge with my favorite homemade ancho chili dry rub for thirty-six hours. The cooler is full of Blue Moon ale. Yup, I’m gonna have a good long day. I throw in a couple chunks of hickory, lay the ribs on my Adjustable Rig at about 11:30 and let them poke along at 230 dome. Yup, I’m having a good day. At 1500 hours Thermapen says ribs are mid-one-fifties. I figure I’ll wrap them at about 165 and let them poke along to 195, then unwrap and finish. Wife shows up with the two grandsons. "How long will the ribs take?" she asks. I give my usual precise answer "I dunno, maybe another three to six hours." Well, that won’t do. It seems precious grandsons can’t stay that late. They may both be in college but they are her princes and they must have ribs. I know she won’t quit so I say "I’ll hurry them up but I hope I don’t ruin them." figuring I can blame her if the princes have to eat pig jerky. So I lay the ribs on foil, spray liberally with apple juice, wrap and return them to the BGE. I pull out the hair dryer and run the dome temp up to 425. Soon I can hear the crackle of boiling apple juice. Hmmm, perhaps the princes will be eating pork mush. No matter how bad it comes out it’ll be HER fault!  She also invited next-door-neighbor over for ribs. I’m lining up my excuses which all blame her. In less than an hour I pull the rig and check. Thermapen says ribs are mid to high one-ninties. And they look OK. I unwrap and sauce two slabs and leave one plain. After about twenty minutes or so I pull them and they are PERFECT! Sorry, no pics as they were pounced on. I’ve ruined lots of meat trying to do it all just right. This time I didn’t care and it worked.

My actuary says I'm dead.
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