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mad max beyond eggdomemad max beyond eggdome Posts: 8,134
edited 5:37AM in EggHead Forum
ok, its not that hard!!....don't stress out!!. ...think of your egg as an will all be ok. ...if you haven't gone there yet, go to mad max turkey central and READ!!!!!

now, some things to calm you down.. ..

1. it isn't all exact - you don't have to follow the instructions to the letter - don't want to use wine - DON"T (use chicken or turke broth, or apple cider, or beer, just so long as you have some liquid in the pan) ....don't like herbs - DON"T USE THEM - go with a rub of choice, or simple salt and pepper - USE WHAT EVER YOU LIKE!!. ..

2. the setup...just make sure it all fits!!!. . .and you have a full load of lump (to within an inch or so of the bottom of the platesetter, or pizza stone or whatever you want to use as your heat barrier. ..and that the pan is sitting above that barrier using the green feet or copper Els or balls of alluminum foil, or whatever - IT DOESN"T MATTER WHATEVER, just make sure there is airflow between the pan and the heat barrier and that there is always some liquid in the pan to prevent your drippings from burning ...

3. v-rack/trivet/root veggies(celery and/or carrots) or fruit(apple slices) to prop up the turkey in your pan ...IT DOESN"T MATTER. just need something so that the bird isn't sitting in the juices....

4. HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE??!!! you are treating the egg like your oven ....what do the instructions say on the package your bird came in regarding size/temp/time....keeping in mind that this is usually based on a finishing temp of 170 in the breast....if you follow my advice on icing the breasts it should take around 12 - 15 minutes per pound at 325-350 dome temp to hit 160 in the breast and 180 in the thighs . . ..but this is based on a large turkey (18 - 22 pounds) ....smaller birds may cook faster ....KEEP TRACK OF THE DAMN THING and don't let the dome temp thermometer poke in the bird!!!! if you come out and check your bird after 1 hour and the dome temp reads 220 and your breast is charred, you have a problem!!!!

5. basting ....i baste approximately 3 times per hour....but if you don't ITS OK!!!!! the bird won't be ruined ....don't drive yourself crazy with a stopwatch or somehting. .. ..even if you only baste once an hour, you will probably be just fine .. ...

6. it ain't done till its done!!!!...don't trust the times/temps/etc. ...check the the drumstick rotating freeling?? are the juices running clear when you poke a skewer deep in the breast..ITS DONE!!!. ..and it may take less time, or more time than the 'book' said it would ....thats OK!!!!. .if its done 3 hours before dinner time...THATS OK TOO...just wrap it in foil and set it in a corner while you do other has a lot of mass and will stay hot/warm till serving time....and still be moist and delicious. ... quit panicking....and go forth and cook with confidence....its really not that hard!!!....and by all means, go make the gravy, but don't ask if the wine is required or not....ITS NOT!!!!..use if you want...and any white that you would drink will work just fine!!! :)


  • fishlessmanfishlessman Posts: 21,759
    are you going with the hotline this year, the nervousness in the room this year is mindboggling :laugh: :laugh:
  • yeah, we will open the hotline...but like last year, it will be posted on the nake whiz's site, so hopefully people will have to read first, then call...

    you should see some of the emails i've been getting as well...lot of stress out there fish...must be the teaparty-ers. ...
  • FlaPoolmanFlaPoolman Posts: 11,672
    Max,, your going to have to hire a call center to help you out this year :whistle: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • pat, you may well be right!! i have the spawn home to help me out....
  • :) :) :)

    I was going to call the hot line just to say hello

    Don't think I will get through

    Have a blessed Thanksgiving Max
  • you are always welcome to give a call frank....usually about 1/3 of the calls on wednesday and thursday are simply friends calling to say hi and happy thanksgiving!!...i look forward to those the most! :)
  • Seems like your trying to take all the stress out of the holiday season. That wouldn't be any fun. :woohoo:

    Happy Thankgiving to the whole Rosen family.

    Your friend
    Mike "It's easier than your think" in Abita
  • fishlessmanfishlessman Posts: 21,759
    wish you luck..... no phones were im going :laugh: let me see if i git this right, put turkey in pan, put pan in egg, roast til done.... oh, remember to light egg, saw someone forgot that part this week, seems important :laugh: :whistle: you would think that by the time someone found the egg and bought one, that they may have actually cooked a turkey by then :laugh:
  • you know mike, i cook to relieve my stress, not add to it!!!. . .its beyond me why people let the thanksgiving meal become a stress enhancer. . to me, getting up early on thursday and spending the day in the kitchen is the most stress free thing i do all year long!! should be for everyone else too ...

    happy thanksgiving to you and yours too!!
  • tach18ktach18k Posts: 1,607
    Your mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
    God darnit, Max, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

    But what did you expect? "Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at home"? "Marry my daughter"? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.
  • LOL terry, you just made me spew on my screen!!! thanks, i needed that this afternoon!! ...of course, the only folks that have responded to my post so far are my old friends!! ....go figure ....hopefully, all the new folks/farmers, are busy reading!!
  • Yep! I'm here reading! And I think I'm straight! I'm ready to DO THIS bird!!

    I don't even think I'll have to use the hotline. haha

    Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving! I've already warned hubby about the cup of good stuff - not to pour it down the drain!!
  • good for you stacie!!! . ..but if you do need some help tomorrow or thursday, don't hesitate to should be having fun with this, not being in total panic mode!!
  • DrivrDrivr Posts: 163
    Been off the forum for a couple of years, nice to see the regular faces still here and of course Max's turkey hotline. :)
  • 2Fategghead2Fategghead Posts: 9,623
    Drivr, Good to see another Road King in the forum. Welcome! Tim
  • TractorTractor Posts: 287
    Awesome post, MMBE!! Keep up the great work!
  • Dear Mad Max:

    I was a rookie egger last year and followed your instructions. This was the BEST turkey my family had ever eggsperienced. We are not allowed to prepare the turkey any other way.

    In fact, it's supposed to be a complete gullywasher in our region on Thursday and our relatives are already calling to make sure we'll be cooking the bird on the egg. I can't bear to hear their reaction if I say "no." But no worries, we have a tent.

    I agree, I was nervous the first time smoking our Young Tom, but your instructions are impeccable. And these little hints should make your hotline less busy on Thursday.

    Thank you for sharing your recipe with the masses. It makes us look real good at Holiday time. And I do give you full credit.

    Happy Thanksgiving!
  • troutmantroutman Posts: 498
    Ok Max, thanks for everything. One tiny little question though, and I examined the Naked Whiz site and it just doesn't cover this at all.

    I just shot my bird this afternoon. Do I have to take the feathers off, or will the herb butter just sink right through?

    Happy Thanksgiving.

    Oh yeah, one more thing. My apples are different sizes, one is 3-1/16th inches and the other one is 3-1/8. Which one should I put in the pan?
  • MikeeMikee Posts: 828
    Plans were made for me to do the madmax turkey on the egg. Last night my daughter said she just bought a turkey and is doing it in the oven. Do I shoot her with a .38 or 44 magnum?
  • Just got that big bottle of Barefoot Chardonnay for the gravy pan today. May have to drink some to put up with the relatives!!!
  • Hi Max, Pleasd to meet ya.

    I am trying you recipe on the egg for the first time. I read and saved the recipe from your web site. The gravy stock is perfuming the house as I write.

    I'm going for a 17 pounder in a medium egg tomorrow. I have been playing around with the setup tonight.

    Here's what I have to do to make it fit: remove the fire ring and place the plate setter legs-up where FR normally sits, then the little green egg feet as spacers, then the cast iron dutch oven which holds the bird in a legs-up position. I like the legs up idea, as it seems hotter up high in the dome, though I'm also planning to ice the breasts.

    Any problems with this? Will I be able to fit enough fuel without the fire ring. I'm planning to smoke judiciously with some cherry chips.
  • following your recipe for the most part and have had the bird on for almost 2 hours now, man it smells good.

    no stress here just cant wait to EAT!!!

    I added a small amount of apple chips soaked in Newcastle beer for a slightly smoked flavor.
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